This is the second part of a complete ranking of every character on Game of Thrones. To see the first part, click here.
77. Balon Greyjoy
“Ned Stark’s dead and his army moved South? Cool, I’m going to go invade the North!” Talk about kicking someone while they’re down.
Creepy old guy who sleeps with his daughters and killing his sons? Yeah, he struggles with likeability.
75. Beric Dondarrion
Apparently George R.R. Martin wanted to have a character come back to life but with deep scars from the experience to mock the resurrection trope used in comic books. Okay, but a guy who dies from an arrow to the back isn’t really much of a badass.
He’s Robert Baratheon’s bastard son, and a pretty good blacksmith. It looked like he was going to have an important role early in the show, but he didn’t appear at all last season.
73. Mirri Maz Duur
Witch who “helps” keep Drogo alive after he’s going to die, except he’s forced to be a vegetable. Daenarys burns her on a funeral pyre, which is always a good way to go out.
72. Walder Frey
Walder Frey gets too much credit for the Red Wedding. It was mostly Tywin and Roose Bolton that planned it. Stop giving this creep admiration he doesn’t deserve.
Locke’s sent by Roose Bolton to capture Jaime and Brienne. When he threatens to rape Brienne, Jaime convinces him not to. He then chops off Jaime’s hand.
70. Brynden “The Blackfish” Tully
Bryden is Catelyn Stark’s uncle and somehow escaped the Red Wedding, but we haven’t heard from him since. Either he’s going to be hugely important soon or they wrote him off.
His name is Steelshanks and he kills a bear to save Jaime and Brienne. I can respect that.
In the first three seasons, Osha singlehandedly keeps Bran and Rickon Stark alive with pretty much all of Westeros trying to find them. Too bad she got stuck with Rickon. Nobody gives a shit about Rickon.
67. Jeor Mormont
Jeor oscillates pretty frequently between mentor to Jon Snow and dick to Jon Snow. He clearly believes in him, but is also pretty stubborn in his ways. He definitely didn’t deserve to be killed in a mutiny though.
66. Grey Worm
Yes, he’s a very well-trained soldier. But, does he do anything else? He could spend all of Season 5 saying, “I am Grey Worm,” and he’d probably have the same amount of impact on the story.
65. Daario Naharis
We much prefer scruffy, hipster looking Daario to the Fabio ripoff actor who originally played him. He got to sleep with Daenarys. Who wouldn’t want to trade lives with this guy?
64. Lysa Arryn/Baelish
Catelyn Stark’s jealous sister nearly executed Tyrion, nursed her son beyond a reasonable age and got pushed out of a giant hole in the ground. She didn’t have a great run.
63. Maester Aemon
Seems ironic that the blind man of Castle Black’s the only one who sees Jon Snow is going to be the Night’s Watch savior. Actually, that’s probably supposed to be symbolism or something.
62. Tommen Baratheon
Tommen took over as king after Joffrey’s death. He hasn’t really done much yet, but he’s going to start sleeping with Natalie Dormer soon, so we’re putting him this high as a congratulations.
61. Benjen Stark
Benjen’s clearly going to return in the show, right? This show clearly has no problem showing other Starks dying, so why is it being so coy about whether he’s alive or not?
60. Alliser Thorne
For most of the show, Alliser seems to just be the dick who wants to keep Jon Snow down. But then at the Battle of Castle Black, he realizes Jon’s actually been right the entire show and even fights valiantly and kills several White Walkers. We think Season 5 Alliser will be far more likeable.
59. Syrio Forel
Teaches Arya how to swordfight and protects her from Lannisters’ guards when they come to arrest her. “There is only one god and his name is Death. And there is only one thing to say to Death: Not today.”
Daenarys’ translator and herald. She’s having some weird romantic thing with Grey Worm, which is kind of weird.
57. Barristan Selmy
At first Barristan’s a total d-bag and servant to the Lannisters. But he eventually grows some balls and quits, and joins Daenarys in the process. Too bad he also cock-blocks Jorah from getting with the Mother of Dragons.
56. Theon Greyjoy
Theon was kind of a dick the first few season. Then Ramsey Snow removed his penis, and he’s been far more tolerable.
On one hand, Gilly’s probably happy she doesn’t have to live with Craster and his incest slaves. On the otherhand, Samwell’s been basically dragging her to all the most dangerous parts of Westeros. Clearly doesn’t know how to treat a lady.
A prostitute that spies on Littlefinger throughout the first few seasons. Joffrey kills her with a crossbow, because he’s clearly taking the “treat the girl you like really badly so she won’t know” thing way too far.
53. Jaqen H'ghar
52. Khal Drogo
Don’t know how to feel about Drogo. At first he’s a complete tool to Danaerys (i.e., raping her), then they fall in love, then he cuts off some guy’s head, then he dies of staph infection or something resulting from a wound. Pretty lame way for such the most powerful warrior in the desert to die.
51. Robert Baratheon
He was killed by a pig and he was a drunk. Sorry if I’m not nostalgic about this King.
50. Shireen Baratheon
Daughter of Stannis. She’s born with a terrible disfigurement that causes her to be locked in the castle for all times. And she doesn’t seem bitter about it. She’s like a puppy with an injured paw. You just want to find her a better home.
49. Qhorin Halfhand
The member of the Night’s Watch who sacrifices himself and lets Jon Snow kill him so Snow can further infiltrate the Wildlings.
48. Yara Greyjoy
So while Theon was away serving the Starks lemonade or whatever, Yara built her own naval fleet and became a badass military commander. If she saves her brother from the Boltons, she’ll really emasculate him.
47. Tormund Giantsbane
Tormund’s definitely the coolest Wildling. He’s basically a one man killing machine, and even though the Night’s Watch won the Battle at Castle Black, they still couldn’t kill Tormund. We’re hoping he gets a nice redemption storyline in season 5.
46. Talisa Stark
Name something else about Talisa other than she’s hot. She’s a nurse? Ok. Her relationship with Robb also leads to the Red Wedding. We don’t know if she’s to blame or not. #NeverForget
45. Renly Baratheon
Renly seems like a good guy with noble intentions, unlike his brother Stannis. But he also gets killed by a weird smoke monster thing. That’s a pretty lame way to go out.
44. Loras Tyrell
Loras seems to be an actually capable soldier. He’s also pretty much just used as a pawn by his sister and grandmother throughout the show. He needs to start standing up for himself.
43. Jon Arryn
Okay, technically you only ever see Jon Arryn’s corpse on the show, but his death triggers everything that happens to the show. Ned Stark becoming the Hand, the Civil War, etc. all starts because of his death. He’s the Franz Ferdinand of Westeros.
A handmaiden of Daenarys who teaches her the art of sexuality. She later betrays her, but we’ll just fondly remember the good times.
41. Maester Pycelle
Why is Pycelle pretending to be so feeble? Can anyone explain that to us? Why would you want to pretend to be a useless old man?
39. Mance Rayder
Was anyone else disappointed when Mance Rayder was finally revealed? I was expecting this giant figure who could cut down trees in one blow or strangle a wolf with his bare hands. But once you hear him speak, the viewer (and Jon Snow) realizes the Night’s Watch might not be in the right when it comes to keeping out the Wildings.
38. Ramsay Bolton
There’s two ways to look at Ramsay. One is as a psychopath who enjoys to torture people for no reason. The other is as the bastard child of Roose who needs to prove his worth by breaking Theon. Either way, he’s a pretty fascinating character.
Was anyone else annoyed Shae didn’t understand Tyrion didn’t want to marry Sansa? And then she goes and “services” his father? Quite the dishonorable end for her.
36. Dontos Hollard
After getting shit on for the first three and a half seasons by the Baratheon/Lannisters, Dontos decides to kill King Joffrey and help Sansa escape, otherwise she’d be the prime suspect. Then Littlefinger kills him. Because that’s what happens to good guys on this show.
35. Ellaria Sand
I very much appreciate her open relationship with Prince Oberyn. I expect (and hope) to see more of her in coming seasons.
34. Roose Bolton
I feel like Roose is going to do something far more interesting going forward. Because right now he’s just the jerk who betrayed the Starks and instigated the Red Wedding. And he’s the King of the North now, so he deserves some respect. Otherwise he might stab me at dinner.
32 and 33. Jojen and Meera Reed
What the hell is the three-eyed raven? How did Jojen and Meera find Bran? How do they relate to all of this? These two are the show’s biggest mysteries.
31. Podrick Payne
Podrick is kind of a screwup sometimes, but he has his heroic moments. He saves Tyrion at the Battle of the Blackwater, and then he refuses to testify against Tyrion despite being offered knighthood. He also does a very good job…"pleasuring" the prostitutes Tyrion pays for him.
Based on the Season 5 promos, it appears Varys has pitched his tent in the Daenerys camp for now. But he’s probably one mysterious note away from trying to have her killed. For a guy without any testicles, he sure has a lot of balls.
29. Olenna Tyrell
I feel like Olenna should be quoting Danny Glover. “I’m getting too old for this shit.” Seriously, how long has she been finagling her way around the nobles of Westeros? And now that Tywin’s dead, she’s going to be the one everyone looks to for guidance.
Yoren was the Night’s Watch member who helped Arya pretend to be a boy, so he’s alright in my books.
27. Eddard “Ned” Stark
Remember when Sean Bean was going to be the huge star of this show and then he was killed at the end of the first season? It was pretty shocking, but I don’t think many people are clamoring for Ned to return from the dead.
It’s not entirely clearly who (or what!) Melisandre is. Is she a charlatan who’s convinced Stannis and his followers that she’s a servant of the Lord of Light? Is she an actual prophet? Is she a witch? I don’t know, but if Stannis’ wife is okay with their “arrangement,” then I give him the okay.
25. Gregor “The Mountain” Clegane
Just for this:
24. Brienne Tarth
We don’t really know what’s going to happen to Brienne next. She clearly seems dedicated to doing right by the Starks, but she also has this weird thing with Jaime? We’re just hoping there’s a Brienne-Mountain duel coming soon.
23. Ser Pounce
If Ser Pounce doesn’t kill someone by laying on their face and smothering them to death, then Game of Thrones will have missed a golden opportunity.
22. Bran Stark
I sort of only put him this high because he’s clearly going to be extremely important to however the show/books end. But in reality, I think his storyline is sort of boring and just bogs everything else down.
21. Davos Seaworth
Davos is a loyal soldier, but he’s not mindless. He’s willing to stand up to Stannis when he thinks he’s wrong. But he really needs to start taking charge this season and replace Melisandre as Stannis’ right hand.
20. Stannis Baratheon
Stannis is clearly getting played by Melisandre. But the way he saved the Night’s Watch at the end of Season 4 made me think that this guy might actually go from fool to hero by the end of the series. And can you really blame him for wanting to bang Melisandre?
19. Jorah Mormont
Jorah’s in what scientists call, “The Friend Zone.” He clearly wants to be with Daenarys (who wouldn’t?), but his position as her adviser makes it impossible. Here’s to hoping season 5 sees the Jorah-Dany hookup everyone (but mostly gingers) have been hoping for.
18. Catelyn Stark
Catelyn’s the strong matriarch that doesn’t take shit from anyone on this show. She’s the Queen of the North and she’s going to do what she pleases. If only her son had listened to her about getting married…
17. Cersei Lannister
It seems like Cersei has spent the entire show trying to manipulate teenage girls. First Sansa then Margaery. She’s also the biggest victim of the Lannister legacy (okay, besides Tyrion), being forced to marry a buffoon like Robert Baratheon to ensure peace. Is she evil? Probably. But she also didn’t have to be that way.
16. Robb Stark
Is he conceited? Overconfident? Did his poor decisions lead to his demise? Yes, but he also kicked a ton of Lannister ass before that. And for that, we will always remember the King of the North.
If this were any other fantasy series, Ygritte and Jon would join together to convince the Night’s Watch and the Wildlings to join together and kill the White Walkers. But George R.R. Martin hates happiness so he killed her instead. Can anyone the fans like stay alive until the end? Please?
Bronn and Tyrion are two peas in a pod, but it was a little sad when Bronn refused to be Tyrion’s champion as he faced execution. Apparently they weren’t really as thick as thieves. Doesn’t change that Bronn can probably kill anyone he wants and loves drinking and whores. He seems like a fun guy.
13. Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish
The great thing about Littlefinger is despite the fact that his job is to be devious in the shadows, he’s always telling everyone his plans. And not really doing anything in the shadows. Pushing a woman to make her fall to her death thousands of feet below is actually fairly noticeable.
12. Sandor “The Hound” Clegane
Him and Arya were secretly in a buddy cop film the past two seasons. Arya’s the idealistic rookie who just wants to make the world a better place, the Hound’s the drunk veteran who just collects a paycheck. Too bad that movie’s come to an end now.
11. Samwell Tarly
Sam just keeps running into worse and worse situations. Stuck doing chores at Night’s Watch? Ok, now we’ll send you on a suicide mission. Got out of that? Okay, now transport this girl and her baby around as White Walkers chase you down. Oh, and here’s a Wildling army as well. And he’s still alive! Someone get this guy a medal!
10. Joffrey Baratheon
This list isn’t about likeability. It’s about importance to the show. And the thing that united fans the first four seasons was the unlikeable prick that somehow became king after Robert got killed by a pig. Joffrey’s extremely hateable, but he’s fun to hate.
9. Jon Snow
Jon’s sort of a whiny brat in the first few seasons, but he eventually becomes pretty badass by the end of season 4. Also, he hooks up with Ygritte, which alone earns him a fist bump from every man he meets the rest of his life.
8. Jaime Lannister
If anyone on the show represents the moral gray area, it’s Jaime. On one hand, he’s murdered innocent people to further the Lannister legacy. But he’s also gone out of his way to help Brienne and helps Tyrion escape prison. Is Jaime a hero or a villain? Probably a little bit of both.
7. Sansa Stark
Sansa starts the show as a naïve teenage girl. But by the end of season four, she’s been harrassed by the Lannisters, thinks her entire family is dead and has basically been forced into hiding. And now she’s mad! The Littlefinger-Sansa combo are going to tear shit up next season!
6. Daenerys Targaryen
Some people think Daenerys is naïve and her crusade to save slaves is getting in the way of her taking the Iron Throne. We have three words for those haters: Mother of Dragons. She can command dragons whenever she wants. We think that’s pretty important.
5. Margaery Tyrell
Margaery is completely different than Daenerys. She understands the game and knows how it needs to be played. She could’ve lost her chance to be Queen after Joffrey’s death, but managed to snake her way back into the position. Now that Tywin’s dead, she’s probably going to start making Westeros her bitch.
4. Tywin Lannister
Is possible for a show’s villain to be both the most evil character and the most fun to watch? Any time Tywin’s onscreen, you know he’s either going to call for someone to get killed, or he’s going to say something so devastating that it destroys the fabric of another character’s being. While it was satisfying to see Tyrion kill him with a crossbow, we will miss his presence in King’s Landing.
3. Oberyn Martell
Remember the fight with the Mountain and how epic you thought it was going to be when Oberyn killed him? Then remember the moment the Mountain grabbed him and crushed his face? Sorry, that beat the Red Wedding in terms of shock value.
2. Arya Stark
Things I want Arya Stark to do by the end of the show: Murder all remaining Lannisters, tame a dragon, take the Iron Throne and get named the biggest badass in Westeros. How is it in a show about knights and soldiers and dragons, the coolest character is a teenage girl?
1. Tyrion Lannister
At the beginning of Game of Thrones, Tyrion’s the charismatic, drunken Lannister brother. But as the show progresses, his backstory becomes more complex and you realize this man is trapped in an impossible situation where his father will command every aspect of his life and also despise his existence. If Tyrion doesn’t end up on the Iron Throne at the end of the show, a lot of fans will be pissed.
Joseph Misulonas is an editorial assistant for Playboy.com. He had way too much time on his hands to be able to do this. He can be found on Twitter at @jmisulonas.