Girlwatcher - Topping Off This Week's News

Is it or isn't it?

Ace journalism from The Sun: A report that Lindsay Lohan is topless not only in Robert Rodriguez's Grindhouse spinoff Machete but also in the trailer for it. (Yes, this is the third "topless in trailer" story we've done in four weeks. Hooray for Hollywood.) As "proof," the paper displays an utterly inconclusive still with a topless blonde girl looking away from the camera. We watched the full trailer at WWTDD—it's quality entertainment for the first 11 seconds, but we remain unconvinced that this is Lindsay.

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Today's Girlwatcher Questionnaire: Ariana Diabla

Canadian cutie Ariana Diabla is a true-blue Playboy fan and a regular presence on the Cyber Club message boards. Is she destined to get naked for Playboy? Only time will tell, but she sure did charm the pants off us in her Girlwatcher Questionnaire.

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Mexico wins Super Bowl

It's funny how sideline reporter Erin Andrews is occasionally chided for trading on her looks—hey, she's attractive, she can't help it if the boys keep voting her America's Sexiest Sportscaster. Because by Mexican standards the blouses and stretchy sweaters she wears on the job might as well be burqas. Try to spot the cultural differences at Guyism's gallery of The Hottest Women of Super Bowl Media Day. We imagine, rather unfairly, they all sound like Charo. "Ay yi yi, joo big estrong American footballman, I gotta questions for joo..." Eh, maybe we shouldn't have watched so much Love Boat in our youth. (Pictured here is Marisol Gonzalez, a former Miss Mexico who covered Super Bowl XLII for TV Azteca.)

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Houston girl wins Mexican soccer match

Who is the blonde gringa of choice for soccer-loving Mexicans? No mystery there—it's Leah Catherine Spencer, a surgeon's assistant from Houston who who gained instant celebrity last weekend by repeatedly flashing for the crowd at a match held in Monterrey, Mexico. An abridged and censored clip is below—TotallyCrap has the full version. According to sources, she was fined $600 for the flash, but she's auctioning off the cap and jersey she wore; the high bid at this writing is $4,200 by Carlos. Half the dough will go to charity, the other half, we suppose, will buy her a lot more jerseys. Which she will then remove and auction off, which will buy her a lot more jerseys...

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American soccer WAG wins Carl's Jr. Grilled Cheese Bacon Burger advertisement

Nope, she didn't win the Victoria's Secret Angel Search, but that doesn't mean we've seen the last of Jamielee Darley. Here she is playing a burger-joint waitress in a commercial for Carl's Jr. Jamielee is also the girlfriend of Sacha Kljestan, currently in the running for a spot on the US squad in the 2010 World Cup. Sports journalists are a bit down on Sacha, but we're rooting for him. Have you seen the WAGs Italy and Brazil bring to the World Cup? We need Jamielee on our bench.

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What nice features you have

In our scientific quest to bring you the very best Internet nudity, we do go to the well of British lad weeklies quite often—we admit it. But they publish great pictures, and what's more, you can't buy these publications outside the UK. Stepping in, somewhat, to fill the void is online magazine Feature Girl, which covers some of today's sexiest Britbabes. Well, it doesn't "cover" them—it's all-topless, all-the-time action, we promise. Current star is Alice Goodwin, and recent issues have brought us Rosie Jones, Sam Cooke and Rhian Sugden. Good work fellas!

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Insert pussy joke here. Or just insert pussy

This is silly! Apparently when they get bored over at CityRag they start photoshopping felines into cleavage. Latest installment: cats in Olivia Munn's Boobs. Wacky, silly, crazy tomfoolery!

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Auf hootersehen

On Tuesday, we said that Katy Perry was the only celebrity who really brought her A-game to the Grammys (technically it was the after-party). The Beer Goggler disagrees: He scored it a win for Heidi Klum's pillowy cleavage, which we didn't even see until today. Guy's got a point.

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Ciao bella

We can't guarantee you're going to get a lot out of this, but Italian TV is sometimes its own reward. Loredana Jolie, also known as Loredana Jolie Ferriolo, one of Tiger Woods's alleged mistresses, went on an Italian variety show to tell her story, and YouTube user dpCobra2x has posted the whole thing in multiple parts. Why an Italian show? Because she is of Italian (Sicilian no less) descent. It goes on for a long time, the host is way too chatty and Loredana's a bit shy. There are musical interludes and a round-table discussion at the end with what we guess is an Italian celebrity adultery expert via satallite. If (when) you lose patience, check out some samples of Loredana Jolie's Cyber Club pictures.

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