I hope you enjoyed your sanity, because it’s about to disappear, now that you know golfer Susana Benavides exists. She’s an Ohio State grad from Bolivia/Heaven and the cause of you having to cook up a fake reason to your girlfriend/wife or pro shop stoner employee about why you’re taking up golf out of nowhere.
I mean, are you really going to tell everyone about how you haven’t slept in days because you’ve been too busy writing your first name with her last name in cursive surrounded by heart doodles? What, you’re going to own up to being turned on by a sport you only kind of understand because of Caddyshack and Happy Gilmore?
One night at dinner, you’ll casually mention how an “albatross” isn’t just a bird and your significant other will cock an eye at you, since the most you ever watch sports is the World Cup and “basketball during the playoffs.” She’ll notice you sweating and you’ll spill. You’re not that strong. You can’t handle Susana Benavides being alive in the same world as you. Just look at her. She’s a genie wish.