No one likes cleaning. But at least when it’s your house, you know what to expect. Hotel maids, on the other hand, walk into each room with no idea what’s lurking around the corner. Sex toys? Severed body parts? Dead bodies? Anything’s possible! It’s like playing the worst possible version of Let’s Make a Deal.

Below is a collection of the weirdest encounters experienced by hotel workers from this Reddit thread. Warning: You may want to cancel your vacation plans after reading this list.

1. LoessPlains

A guy I worked with told a story of how he got called to a room (back when doors had round doorknobs). He couldn’t open the door because the guy inside the room kept screaming when anyone attempted to enter. Turns out, the guy on the inside had the doorknob up his arse and it was stuck.

2. ItsLewis

This man tried to pull off a scam at the hotel I work at. He turned up with a kid and everything seemed fine. The next day he complained saying there had been glass in his bath, and demanded the huge bill he had ran up be comped. The bastard had even cut his kid to make the story more convincing. He was soon prosecuted for fraud and his claims turned out to be complete bullshit.

3. Cartmom

Has to be the bloke who holed up in his room for 10-12 days, asked for extra blankets (which he used as blackouts over the curtains) and constantly asked at the bar for lemons. Only came out at night really, when he’d order 10+ soft drinks from the bar, dip each cig from a pack of 20 in them, then line up the soggy cigs. Breakfast order was 12 hardboiled eggs. Then when he’d venture out (in daylight) he’d take the time to rearrange the shelves in the local shop. Found a plateful of lemons, sliced, with the steak knife, on top of a wardrobe when cleaning after him. He also wore only black, big coat, hat, scarf draped over hat - during the hottest summer to date.

4. andrewinmelbourne

A lady had a miscarriage in her bed and cuddled the fetus for a few days.

5. thisisntwhereiparked

I work in small hotel bar in the middle of rural Alberta the staff here are pretty close and we all know each other. One morning in the fall one of the staff found a box outside one of the hotel’s side door exits, soaked in blood and filled with fresh organs. Needless to say, he was shocked by it but not to worry (being a hunter) he knew it was not human. He went to the front desk to announce his odd and disturbing findings. Confusion spreads. The chamber maids found the source. One of the rooms had blood covering the bathroom tub and various areas. The guest had somehow killed a deer, brought it into the hotel side door and butchered it in the room.

6. urbanbutter

Someone [masturbated in front of] a co-worker of mine when I was a housekeeper. We were friends outside of work and she came screaming and crying out of the elevator on my floor to tell me what happened. We went together to tell the head housekeeper and hotel manager. By the time the manager got to this dude’s room, he had put his towels in a big pile and pissed all over them. He denied stroking it at my friend, and then claimed that she was the one who pissed on the towels.

7. uptheyrise

Found a humans nipple. Yep, just a nipple, pointed up, laying on the bed side table.

8. FineCatsand_Cigars

My sister was a hotel maid while she was in university and told me this one. She was called to a room because there were complaints of someone making loud moaning noises and there were the sounds of someone drilling into something. What she walked into would be something she would not soon forget. A man had suspended himself from his both his feet, his body, and his throat and was suspended in the air masturbating. The drilling was him putting supports for him to suspend the ropes from the ceiling. There were also rubber ducks everywhere.

9. InclinedWorks

My grandma worked in a motel back in the 50s in New Mexico, and a group of priests came in once and shit in a small trashcan.

10. balfoursyournephew

My friend, let’s call her Amy, because that’s her name, worked at a hotel in London that houses many people who come in for film premieres at the Leicester Square cinema. Let’s just say that certain male members of the Harry Potter cast are very fond of both young women and group sex. The number of teenage girls that used to leave that hotel in various states of dishevelment in the early morning after a HP premiere was apparently mind-bogglingly large.

11. Spacetonium

Housekeeping supervisor here. I’ve had to call the cops and then help bust a guy posting Craigslist gloryhole ads in our hotel, i.e. he would be the mouth on the other side. He had a fake folding wall he had set up right when you walked into the room with a hole in it. I’m not sure if we caught him before he got any action, but that wall looked pretty used.

12. StrongLikeBull503

Alcoholic taking a dump in each disc golf hole and 10 300lb college students having an orgy in the grotto.

13. Cmdr-Keen

My friend works at a trendy hotel in NYC. Last year, she cleaned up a suite where Boyz 2 Men had partied the night before and found a bag of blow. I don’t like cocaine, but you’re god damn right we did all of Boyz 2 Men’s stash that night.

14. OliverTheWanderer

One night Louie Anderson came to stay at the hotel I worked at. He chain smoked five packs of Marlboro Ultralight 100’s a day and would try to fuck anything that moved, male or female. He would unscrew the light bulbs in his room and call down for a tech to come and see what was wrong. The standard attire for Mr. Anderson at this point was tighty whities. While the guys were there he’d stand there and ogle them. My particular run in with him was for a late night room service order. He calls down for some smokes and a sandwich. I get it all together and run upstairs. So I get there and instead of letting me in (and again he’s in his tighty whities) he just turns sideways, leaving me to hold the tray over my head and squeeze between the gap between the wall and the pastey, white mass he calls a stomach. I had to rub bellies… with Louie Anderson.

15. GodlessMe

Get a call from two different rooms about a “Loud bang like a gunshot,” from the upstairs corner room, which is supposed to be empty. On the way up to the room, we see a yellow car tearing ass out of the parking lot. We call 911 before they turn on to the highway and within moments you can hear the sirens coming. We go check out the room. In the bathroom is our friend Kim’s boyfriend, who is face down, ass up, pants around his ankles passed out with blood coming from his head. And there was shit everywhere.

Well, It seems in the 90’s, GNC sold a version of GHB. It had a warning to “only take a cap full.” Our friend Kim was over that day. Seems she stole a key and brought her boyfriend and a couple other guys over for a few shots of this GHB and a gang bang. When her boyfriend downed a cup of it and went to relieve himself, he passed out on the toilet and fell off the can on to his face, busting his head. The “bang” that was heard was the other two guys breaking into the bathroom. (The door broke. I didn’t see it at first.) When they saw him on the floor, they just ran for the hills. They were caught a mile down the road and just told the whole story to the cops. The boyfriend went to the hospital and almost died. He didn’t. And Kim? Well when she ran, seems she went to another room where she knew a guy who stayed there with his girlfriend. We found this out cause three hours later we rented a room and minutes later the customers came back and handed us the keys and told us the room was already occupied. We went to check it out and there was Kim and that other guy (minus the girlfriend) fucking in the jacuzzi.

16. hurricaneheather

Please refrain from touching tv remotes. They go places where no remote should go.

17. xxharmxx

A younger, well-dressed businessman with a briefcase had checked into a room for several days. He never made any noise and had the “Do Not Disturb” sign up until he checked out. When the maids came to clean the room after he left, they found the room with every surface (drawers, TV stand, sink, bath tub, etc.) just covered with raw meat and there were dirty footprints all over the ceiling.

18. wesisawesome

Walked in to the Nature Boy Ric Flair’s room to find the hand prints of a woman high on the mirror and two sweaty butt prints on the lower portion.