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Who Needs Current Events? News Radio Station Switches to All-Beyoncé Format

Who Needs Current Events? News Radio Station Switches to All-Beyoncé Format:

Well, at least now we know why Beyoncé keeps dropping surprise albums. She’s accurately anticipating the ever-growing demand for her spirited, increasingly sexy, pro-woman anthems. News92, a news format station in Beyoncé’s hometown of Houston, announced yesterday that it has succumbed to poor ratings and dwindling revenue and will cease broadcasting immediately. “Unfortunately, the market hasn’t shown a sustainable appetite for news radio,” reads a statement on the station’s website.

You know who the market does have an appetite for?

That’s right. According to Billboard, Radio One, the network that owns and operates News92, has decided to rebrand the station as an all Beyoncé radio station. The first question that may pop into your head after reading this may be, “Why?” The answer can be found by asking just about any woman under the age of 45. The second question might reasonably be, ‘Has Beyoncé made enough music to fill out a twenty-four hour radio station’s entire playlist?’ The good people at Billboard did the math so that we don’t have to:

If the new station only plays Beyonce’s solo catalog, it will have five albums to choose from. Not including various bonus tracks, remixes, live versions or tracks from other artists featuring Beyonce, those records contain 63 songs, adding up to roughly 4 hours and 15 minutes of music. Of course, if the station is willing to dig into Beyonce’s work with Destiny’s Child, that will expand their pool of possible tunes to draw from – Destiny’s Child recorded 5 albums (if you count their Christmas album), containing 67 songs and around 4.5 hours of music.

If roughly nine total hours doesn’t seem like enough tune-age for 24/7 music programming, you haven’t listened to commercial radio in decades. Commercial radio stations – particularly those owned by major networks like Radio One operating under the mandate of playing the hits – routinely program the same limited handful of records constantly from one day to the next. Under that depressing practice, and with the pop diva’s consistent rate of putting out new jams, it could easily be “Queen Bey All Day” in Houston, with the other Destiny’s Child members never making it to the airwaves.

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