Instagram’s a great way to show off where you went to dinner and how lame your dog is. Too bad there’s a lot of awful people on there as well. Here are the 11 most disdainful people you always find on Instagram.
1. The Guy Whose Life is Better Than Yours in Every Way
He’s snapping selfies with superstars, bathing in Benjamins, and gargling more Grey Goose than he’s not. You hate him, you want him to fuck up and…you want his life more than anything.
2. Your Ex
Hey, guess who else is living the life? Your ex. She’s hooking up with Charlie McRichenberg in Hawaii while you’re dry humping a pillow until you fall asleep. Great.
3. The Bridge Whore
This person apparently travels everywhere by bridge. On the way to the grocery: picture of a bridge. Coming back from work: picture of a bridge. Walking to the kitchen: picture of a goddamn bridge.
4. The Person Who’s Always on a Plane
This person is the bridge whore of the sky. They’re either in or next to an airplane. Where are they going? Why are they traveling? Who knows? They don’t take pictures of that.
5. The No Filter Fraud
Everyone knows filters are great for making boring pictures look interesting, for making you look better than you really do. But these a-holes have the audacity to take all the credit themselves.
6. The Meme Guy
Some people don’t understand that Instagram is for photographs. Instead, they spend their entire day posting worn-out memes and Grumpy Cat jokes. The app’s icon is a camera lens, you guys. Figure it out.
7. The Inspirational Idiot
You went to high school with her. You haven’t seen her in years. She’s working a dead-end job in Missouri. And she has, like, so many inspirational things to tell you about life.
8. Bad Food and Cats
This one’s a twofer. Everyone on Instagram is proud of two things: their disgusting food and their cat(s). Sometimes you hit the Insta-lotto and see both.
9. The Promotional Prick
You’re trying to have a good time on Instagram when suddenly you’re being asked to watch someone’s YouTube video, to follow them on Twitter, to like their Facebook page. That’s when you have the pleasure of unfollowing them on every platform and forgetting them forever.
10. The “Artist”
These liberal twenty-somethings think Instagram is their big artsy break. That these 2x2 inch boxes will land them in the Louvre. Unfortunately for them - and unfortunately for all of us – things aren’t that simple.
11. The Uninteresting Guy
FINALLY. Someone whose life isn’t better than yours. Someone who makes you and your over-filtered pictures of the sunset feel proud for once. Ahhh. Soak it in, pal.
Sage is a writer based in New York City. Follow Sage on Twitter: @sageboggs.