Jeff Sessions’ Tuesday testimony in front of a Senate Intelligence Committee was a maddening exercise in the art of selective memory. Either the Attorney General has early-onset Alzheimer’s or he does most of his job while blackout drunk. How else can we explain his shocking inability to recall the nature or details of the events in question?
In an attempt to shed some light on Sessions’ murky testimony, all five network late night hosts took turns taking shots at Sessions for everything from his pint-sized stature to his questionable motives. We don’t usually condone making fun of someone for their physical appearance but Sessions is a truly odious figure.
Jimmy Kimmel did his best to liven up the depressing proceedings by pairing audio from the hearing with clips from Looney Tunes cartoons. He also compared Sessions to one of history’s great liars in Pinocchio. But instead of his nose growing with each lie, it’s Session’s ears that expand.
Kimmel wasn’t the only one who compared Sessions to a cartoon character. James Corden’s staff “mistakenly” pulled up an image of Alec Baldwin’s Boss Baby while Corden discussed the testimony. The next photo was that of a Keebler elf, until finally they settled on a potato to represent the Attorney General.
Not even the notoriously apolitical Jimmy Fallon could resist going in on Sessions. “For those of you who don’t know, ‘doesn’t recall’ is a Washington term meaning, ‘I definitely recall and I’m in trouble,‘” Fallon said.
After knocking Sessions for his allegiance to Trump, Seth Meyers brought out Kate McKinnon for her take on the testimony. McKinnon revealed that of all the political impressions she did on this past season of SNL, Sessions was by far her favorite. After pointing out his “funny little mouth,” McKinnon transformed into the Attorney General. “Now with Sergey Kislyak, now I only met him two times,” McKinnon said. “OK, three times. But the third time was in a men’s restroom. And we was just talking about what a trial it is to get soap out of those electric soap dispensers.”
Last but not least, Stephen Colbert weighed in on Sessions, or “the last surviving Little Rascal,” as he jokingly referred to him. “As soon as Sessions sat down, everyone had the same question: Are you now or have you ever hidden any pots of gold?” Colbert said. “He’s small.”