With Mother’s Day just around the corner, it’s time to ask the question: Are all moms really the same? We know they’re technically different people, but what if they’re somehow linked by an unknowable cosmic plane that none of us will ever understand? Or maybe they were all made in a mom factory somewhere in New Jersey, where they were programmed with the same texting abilities?

That’s our conspiracy theory after watching the staff of Jimmy Kimmel Live share text messages from their moms that we could’ve sworn were actually written by our moms.

From the highly critical (“you’re beautiful but too heavy”), the technically inept (“What is Facebook etiquette when someone pokes you?”), to the just plain mean (“no one likes you”)—moms will never stop trying to fix us, because well, they created us. Michaelangelo chipped away at David for two years, non-stop before finally perfecting him. And despite the shade they may throw our way over text, we’re all perfectly sculpted marble statues in their eyes.

Watch Kimmel’s staff get owned by their moms below.