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Get Your Kong On: Stream Some Monkey Business Ahead Of ‘Kong: Skull Island’

Get Your Kong On: Stream Some Monkey Business Ahead Of ‘Kong: Skull Island’: Warner Bros.

Warner Bros.

It’s that time again: time to watch a giant ape kick ass on the big screen. With Kong: Skull Island hitting theaters this weekend, you might find that your appetite for giant monkey business is much larger than usual — large enough to wrestle a T-rex or two, even. If that’s the case, then maybe you should check out some prior Kong action online. Here are ten suggestions of where to get your gorilla fix.


KING KONG (1933)
The original and, some might argue, still the best Kong around, as Fay Wray shines with star power as the rest of the world wonders how the hell anyone actually came up with the idea of a giant ape falling in love with an actress, anyway. (No, really, just take a second to think about it.) Available for purchase or rental from Amazon


SON OF KONG (1933)
No sooner was the original movie a hit than a sequel arrived; this time, humans return to Kong Island in search of hidden treasure, only to discover an overgrown — but not giant — gorilla who they immediately assume is King Kong’s son for no immediately apparent reason. But what about the treasure?!? Available for rental from Amazon


KING KONG VS. GODZILLA (1962)
The third Kong movie sets the stage for the future of movies by rebooting the entire storyline, with a pharmacy company deciding to use the newly-discovered Kong for promotional purposes, only for Godzilla to throw a giant wrench into the works because guys in rubber suits wrestling = $$$. Who could resist? Officially unavailable to stream, but looking on YouTube might produce good results for bootlegs, we can’t really say


KING OF KONG ISLAND (1968)
Despite the title, there’s no King Kong in this exploitation flick — although there are some mind controlled apes, which almost earns the title, as well as a jungle native who just so happens to be a sexy white girl known as “The Sacred Monkey.” I think that’s all you really need to know before watching, right? Available on Amazon Prime


KING KONG (1976)
A remake of the original, this has all the hallmarks of 1970s movie excess, including appearances from young Jeff Bridges, Charles Grodin and Jessica Lange, some ropey special effects that were seen as the best possible at the time, and a script by the guy behind the campy 1960s Batman TV show. Available on Amazon Prime


QUEEN KONG (1976)
Sadly, this isn’t an “official” entry into the canon, but a cheap British knock-off in which a film crew has to deal with a lovestruck female gorilla who happens to have fallen for the leading man. This movie was never even released in the UK, because the producers of King Kong were so upset by it, they threatened legal action. Available on Amazon Prime


KING KONG LIVES (1986)
What is more surprising about this 10-years-later follow-up to the 1976 movie: that it exists at all, that it suggests that Kong was kept alive in a coma, in secret, by a loving surgeon, or that said surgeon was played by Linda Hamilton? The real answer might be “all three are worthy of shock and surprise.” Officially unavailable to stream, but looking on YouTube might produce good results for bootlegs, we can’t really say


KING KONG (2005)
Peter Jackson went from dazzling audiences with his Lord of the Rings trilogy to boring them senseless with this remake of the 1933 original that manages to be overblown, overlong and far too faithful towards its source material at the same time. Adrien Brody and Jack Black, I blame you, too. Available for purchase or rental from Amazon


KINKY KONG (2006)
Because every long-lived film franchise needs a porn parody, here’s Kinky Kong, a movie that tells you everything you need to know when you discover that the giant ape at the center of the story comes from “Bone Island.” Yes, really. Available for purchase or rental from Amazon


KONG: KING OF THE APES (2016)
Ahead of this year’s big screen revival, there was this animated take on the whole mythos, which sanitizes things considerably, but also knows just where its bread and butter comes from, hence lots of dinosaur punching throughout. Available on Netflix

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