As the longtime guitarist for Metallica, Kirk Hammett has made millions and millions of dollars playing face-melting riffs for almost four decades. But maybe Hammett’s guitar skills and facial hair aren’t enough to stand out from his bandmates James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich and Robert Trujillo. Maybe after all this time, the only way for the 54-year-old to truly make a name for himself is to produce his own coffee.
Hammett recently announced the release of “Ghoul Screamer,” a collaboration between his guitar pedal company, KHDK, and the Chicago coffee bar chain Dark Matter Coffee. Did you know that “ghôùll” is Sumerian for “sick tone,” according to this Instagram post touting the java release? Nevermind that that’s not entirely accurate; if there’s one thing Hammett knows about, it’s sick tones. If there’s a second thing Hammett knows about, evidently it’s coffee.
The El Salvadorian blend boasts notes of apricot, praline and mulling spice, but also, maybe a little bit of Satan? “Guarding a serpentine circuit of obsidian,” the coffee’s incredible description begins, “Ghoul Screamer was forged in the bottomless mines of Az’g’orath to protect humanity from the forces of evil by summoning the scream of the Ghoul.”
Wait, they’re not done. “Heed the prophecy,” the copy continues. “Only warriors of the sacred caffeine-to-blood ratio will wield the power of Ghoul Screamer, a fully fermented brew with waves of untamed punch. Those unworthy will be consumed by its force.” Shit, if Hammett wrote that description, maybe his bandmates ought to let him pen some lyrics for the next Metallica album. I mean, it can’t be any worse than St. Anger.
Surprisingly, Hammett isn’t the first metal musician to cross over into the ‘cuppa world. The frontman for Tombs, Mike Hill, has Savage Gold Coffee; Ozzy Osbourne’s guitarist, Zakk Wylde, partnered with the appropriately named Death Wish Coffee; and Dave Mustaine, the Megadeth founder whom Hammett actually replaced in Metallica in 1983, used to distribute his own decaf blend through his wife’s Net Worth Coffee Brokers company. Guess it’s onto the next thing, Kirk.