Considering Donald Trump is has made no hesitation to take an adversarial position towards Saturday Night Live (despite being a former host, his list of tweets blasting NBC’s comedy showcase is vast) due to the show’s many parodies of him, it seems appropriate that one of Trump’s targets would use the stage to fire back.
When Kristen Stewart hosted SNL this past Saturday night, the actress focused much of her opening monologue to referencing a series of unfavorable tweets Trump had declared years earlier, stating his opinions about Stewart and her then relationship with actor Robert Pattinson.
Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again–just watch. He can do much better!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 17, 2012
This was Stewart’s first time hosting the show (not surprisingly, as she’s been busy acting in films such as the upcoming Personal Shopper and making her directorial debut with Come Swim ), “I’m a little nervous,” but for the bona-fide professional, the reason wasn’t your standard stage fright.
Her nerves were based on the possibility that “The President’s probably watching. I don’t think he likes me that much.” She goes on to explain, “Four years ago, I was dating this guy named Rob, Robert. We broke up, and then we got back together. For some reason, it made Donald Trump go insane. Here’s what he actually tweeted, and this is real.”
“Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog and will do it again–just watch. He can do much better!”
Stewart elaborates, “No, I know what you’re thinking. That’s so crazy, the President tweeted about you once. No, the President tweeted about me 11 times.”
Stewart recollects this tweet from Trump:
Everyone knows I am right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart. In a couple of years, he will thank me. Be smart, Robert.— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 22, 2012
Dumbfounded and baffled, Stewart continues, “I know! The one day later, he tweeted: Everyone is asking me to speak more on Robert & Kristen. I don’t have time except to say, “Robert, drop her, she cheated on you & will again!”
Trying to make sense of it all, Stewart jokes, “Ok, so to be fair. I don’t think Donald Trump hated me. I think he’s in love with my boyfriend, because he also tweeted this: Miss Universe 2012 Pageant will be airing live on NBC and Telemundo December 19. Open invite stands for Robert Pattinson.”
Unruffled, before moving to the rest of her monologue, Stewart closes on Trump by making a statement more important than Trump’s unsolicited gossip-fueled tweets, “So Yeah, that’s crazy, right. The president is not a huge fan of me. But that is so ok. And Donald, if you didn’t like me then, you’re really probably not going to like me now because I’m hosting “SNL,” and I’m like so gay, dude.” Stewart’s full monologue, complete with subtitles, is available on Saturday Night Live’s YouTube channel, complete with the “f-bomb” the actress accidentally drops at the very end.