There was a short period of time that I believed that if I got a job as a pool-boy that I would be having sex everyday with multiple housewives. Turned out that all I got was a killer tan and advice as to what I was doing wrong from the housewives’ know-it-all husband. That guy is lucky I didn’t coax his wife out of her Xanax coma and convince her to sleep with me. Here are some other lies that porn has led us to believe are true.