This unnamed first-grader was not satisfied with his current classroom seat, and decided to do something about it.

His weapon of choice?

The power of the written word.



The letter, according to UPROXX, reads:

“Dear Ms. Stouffer I do not like my current seat! This is because I sit near tori, we do not get along because our pencil cases both have the same locks. One time I played a trick on her by locking her case with my key because she does not have her own. This is the reason why I do not like my seat.

P.S. If you agree please me in the empty seat next to _____ because I find her kind of attractive! If I do get the seat please do not announce this is front of the class.

Sincerely: [name redacted]”

Let’s break this down. This kid doesn’t like his seat due to a general mutual dislike between himself and Tori. His distaste for the classroom’s seating arrangement has escalated to a point that he’s willing to straight rat himself out re: the pencil case key lock prank.

He then requests that if he’s to be moved, he be moved to an empty seat next to the apple of his eye who he finds “kind of attractive.”

His final request is that the teacher not blow up his spot and tell the class he wanted to sit next to his crush.

Either this kid is a very advanced first grader, or this is fake. If it’s the former, his vocab is on point. When I was his age, I don’t think I knew that you could refer to other people as “attractive.” I also probably wouldn’t have been sly enough to pull off that pencil case key trick.