Last week, it was reported that only one in 10 women orgasm during a one-night stand, which can probably be explained by the fact that men know nothing about the random women they’re taking home, so of course, how can they know how to make her orgasm? (There isn’t one tried-and-tested way, guys.) Still, Americans love the casual nature of one-night stands, even in the age of swiping, and perhaps that’s because it’s one of the last spontaneous events in our carefully coordinated, connected and curated lives.
Now, recent research of 1,000 respondents—half American, half European— from online doctor service DrEd has determined how most of us have engage in one-night stands. More than 60 percent of us have had one, and when divided between the genders, men average one more spontaneous sex soireé over their lifetimes than women, at seven and six each, respectfully.
Building on past research, this survey also finds that eight in 10 women aren’t satisfied after their rolls in the hay, a dismal approval rating that will probably equate President Donald Trump’s any day now. Altogether, if I were to guess what’s behind these poor figures, I’d say it’s the fact that one-night stands are missing a crucial element: connection. That, plus a shared apprehension to communicate.
Strangers don’t know what what turns you on and vice versa. Because no one orgasm is created equal, experience with a partner is necessary for a mutually beneficial relationship. Because there’s a good chance you don’t know your bar hookup at all (ever forget his or her name in the middle of doing it?), both of you are likely to shy away from communicating your sexual likes and dislikes. And ladies, I’m willing to bet the guy you’re taking home doesn’t care about your climax as much as a boyfriend would. I also bet good money that alcohol plays a monumental role in performance as well.
Okay, so even though some of us can’t climax during these brief encounters—that includes men sometimes, too—we nonetheless enjoy the chase. When seeking one-night stands, DrEd survey results report that both genders prefer to pick up someone at a club over a bar. Dating apps and/or websites came third (men: 26 percent; women: 21 percent) in sourcing a random hookup, followed by singles who met at a college or university (men: 12 percent; women: seven percent).
And while many choose to keep their one-night stands a secret—34 percent of men and 42 percent of women—most of us do tell a friend or two. As for the person we’ve slept with, they essentially disappear into the night. Forty-three percent don’t stay in touch with their one-night stands. Those who do will text back and forth for a couple of days (20 percent), but these numbers dwindle the longer things carry on. Only 11 percent stay in touch for a few months and eight percent maintain long-term communication. Also worth noting: Americans are much more likely to ghost a fling than Europeans.
In every instance, women are more likely to judge someone for having a one-night stand, but men are pretty judgmental as well. Why is that? The stats reveal that the majority of us do it. As long as the sex is safe and consensual, there’s no reason to judge.