Just imagine: This poor girl’s life is always like this.

I am a nerd. My wife knows I am a nerd. She endures my nerdery. But if I kept rolling up on her shouting lines from Raiders of the Lost Ark — “TAKE BACK ONE KADAM TO HONOR THE THE HEBREW GOD, WHOSE ARK THIS IS!” — she would gently poison my fucking Pringles.

Way to live dangerously, Joe Azzopardi. You keep making sure those beacons stay lit.

(Via Laughing Squid)

Marc Bernardin is the Deputy Editor of Playboy.com. He is happily married to a woman who, after seeing The Fellowship of the Ring without knowing it was the beginning of a trilogy, stood up in the theater and said, “What the fuck? All that walking and they don’t even get there? Bullshit!”