If you’re single this Thanksgiving and want to piss off your parents, you might want to hit up the unnamed man who posted this Craigslist personal ad. He wants to be there for you.
“If you’d like to have me as your strictly platonic date for Thanksgiving, but have me pretend to be in a very long or serious relationship with you, to torment your family, I’m game,” he writes.
He’s a 28-year-old felon with no high school degree and a dirty old van one year younger than himself that is “paineted like Eddie Van Halen’s guitar.”
He offers to: - Openly hit on other female guests while you act like you don’t notice.. - Start instigative discussions about politics and/or religion. (I’d get him to go in hard on Bill Cosby.) - Propose in front of everyone. - Pretend to be really drunk. (He doesn’t drink anymore.) - Actually start a physical fight with a family member, either inside or on the front lawn.
And he’s doing it all just for the price of the free meal he will receive as your guest. Sadly, you have to be in the Nashville area.