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I Apologize in Advance for This Article About a Guy Who Fractured His Penis During Sex

I Apologize in Advance for This Article About a Guy Who Fractured His Penis During Sex: © OJO Images Ltd / Alamy

© OJO Images Ltd / Alamy

Tell ISIS and Ebola to take a hike. I have a new horrifyingly real yet extremely improbable danger for you to fear: the fractured penis.

Alan Parke of Donegal, Ireland, was having sex with his girl friend when things went horribly wrong.

“I was on the bottom and [my girlfriend] was on top,” Parke told The Irish Mirror. “All of a sudden I heard something snap. I’ve never known pain like this, it was absolutely excruciating.”

Parke was taken to Letterkenny General Hospital before being transferred to a more advanced facility in Galway where he received emergency surgery.

Courtesy of Facebook (via The Irish Times).

Courtesy of Facebook (via The Irish Times).

“There’s no bone in there but I was still told it was a fracture,” Parke said. “There was blood everywhere, I couldn’t control it.”

Well, it looks like I won’t be visiting RedTube today.

As if snapping his penis in half wasn’t bad enough, Parke claims he was also forced to endure the taunts of his fellow hospital patients.

“One patient kept laughing at the pain I was in,” Parke said. “Security wouldn’t let me out of their sight I was so angry.”

Parke’s injury forced him to take eight weeks off of work. It has now been three months since the ordeal, and while his condition has improved, he’s still not completely healed.

“It was a while before he could even play with himself again,” Parke’s girlfriend Clarissa said while attempting to explain it all. “He was in that much pain.”

(H/T: Mandatory)


Jason Mathews is Internetting way too hard. Follow him at @jasonmathews316.

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