A man walked into a Baltimore-area pizza shop Sunday night and tried to make out with a register full of cash. His robbery attempt was unsuccessful, but he was captured on the store’s surveillance cameras wearing a t-shirt that says “Crime Pays.”

This stuff writes itself, folks.

The Anne Arundel County police department wrote a description of the crime on their Facebook page asking people to help identify the suspect. Next to a photo, the post commented on the man’s ironic sartorial choice, writing:

Attempt robbery suspect. Can you help us ID him? And yes, his shirt really says that.

Witnesses said the man entered the pizza shop and demanded money from employees behind the register. He then lifted his “Crime Pays” shirt and showed the handle of a handgun in his waistband. Alas, the pizza restaurant employees could not manage to get the register open and the man fled the scene.

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