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McDonald’s Decided to Make the Hamburglar Sexy Because…Who Knows?

McDonald’s Decided to Make the Hamburglar Sexy Because…Who Knows?: McDonalds

McDonalds

There’s nothing that makes a child happier than leaving school and finding out you’re getting a McDonald’s Happy Meal for dinner. Well, apparently America’s most famous fast food chain has decided to ruin everyone’s collective childhoods by besmirching the legacy of a beloved national icon.

McDonald’s has decided to make the Hamburglar sexy.

Here’s a tweet McDonald’s sent out today to tease this transition.

McDonald’s representative Joel Yashinsky told Mashable that the Hamburglar has “had some time to grow up a bit and has been busy raising a family in the suburbs and his look has evolved over time.” And by look evolved over time, they mean he’s become a total beef cake! Here’s another promotional image they’ve released:

McDonalds

McDonalds

This photo is clearly saying, “Shhhh, don’t worry, girl. We can eat Big Macs all night long.”

Was there a clamoring for this? Were people going to McDonald’s chains saying, “I really want to order some Chicken McNuggets, but I’m just not aroused enough!” Are we going to get a sexy Ronald McDonald next? Or what about skanky Grimace? Will Mayor McCheese be turned into some Fifty Shades of Grey-inspired BDSM with hamburgers aficionado? Or maybe McDonald’s going to be 18+ from now on?

McDonalds

McDonalds

Couldn’t they just make the McRib available year round?


Joseph Misulonas is an editorial assistant for Playboy.com. He always liked Wendy’s more. He can be found on Twitter at @jmisulonas.

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