New York City is home to many ruthless gangs: the “Cash Money Brothers,” the “Warriors,” and the dreaded “Van Buren Boys,” just to name a few. But of all the ruffians and hoodlums who call the Big Apple home, the “Subway Conquestors” just might be the dumbest.

Authorities say the group of teenagers has been breaking into abandoned subway stations, exploring tunnels and surfing on train cars.

Since the only person likely to die from surfing on a subway car is the person doing the surfing, the “Subway Conquestors” really don’t sound that bad. But the group has also been accused of throwing pieces of metal onto the tracks, which is an obvious danger to riders and transit workers. Although in all fairness to the “Conquestors,” I bet it does look really cool when a train plows into a big piece of metal.

Although an arrest was made last month, experts believe there are still many active members of the gang. And by experts I mean a “self-proclaimed rail enthusiast” with a phony-sounding name who the local news seems to trust.

“There are plenty of other people out there in the same gang, engaging in the same activities,” Max Diamond explained. Diamond is a self-proclaimed rail enthusiast. He has tracked the group for two years on social media. He said the acts are getting more extreme as the vandals try to one up each other. They have been accused of changing destination signs to confuse passengers, surfing train cars, and stealing MTA equipment and gear. “It’s extremely dangerous. The tools and keys they have give them full control over subway trains just like any other employee of the MTA — which is incredibly scary, because this is 16, 17-year-old kids.

Take it from Max Diamond, folks. The “Subway Conquestors” are the new ISIS.

Clearly the “Subway Conquestors” must be stopped. But one question remains. Is “Conquestors” even a word? Spellchecker says no.

(Source: CBS New York)