Guys, guys, guys. Allow me to preface the results of this disappointing study by first informing you that they do not portray heterosexual men in a positive light. The results are actually quite embarrassing, and we at Playboy are sorry for having to bring this to your attention.

This research comes courtesy of Chapman University, Indiana University and the Kinsey Institute, which collectively surveyed more than 52,000 adults of all sexual orientations (bisexual, heterosexual and homosexual) to determine the differences in orgasm frequency between our sexual preferences. It’s only the second study of the sort to recruit such large samples of gay, lesbian and bisexual candidates. The first study primarily comprised singles; in this instance, researchers chose to look at subjects in relationships.

“A major goal of the study was to create a profile of the attitudes and behaviors of people who orgasm frequently versus rarely,” the researchers wrote. So what did they find? Well let’s start with the good news: heterosexual men reported more orgasms than anybody else, with a wildly successful 95 percent orgasm rate—which serves as a serious testament to a woman’s lovemaking ability. And how do we repay these everyday sexual goddesses? By giving her the fewest orgasms of the bunch, with a profoundly disappointing 65 percent orgasm rate. That’s a 30 percent discrepancy, guys!

These antithetical results led researchers to coin this difference the “orgasm gap,” which leans heavily in a man’s favor, no matter their sexual orientation. Results found that gay men orgasm 89 percent of the time and bisexual men orgasm 88 percent of the time, which is certainly nothing to scoff at. Lesbians do a pretty damn good job as well, orgasming 86 percent of the time, while bisexual women (who, keep in mind, still have sex with men) reported that they only orgasm 66 percent of the time they have sex. Are men—and our obvious lack of knowledge of the female orgasm—to blame?

According to the study’s lead author David Frederick, yes. Yes we are. “There are thousands of magazine articles and self-help sex books that give advice on what makes women orgasm,” he says. “One goal of this study was to look at which specific acts were most strongly linked to orgasm frequency in women.” So in case you don’t want to leaf through these “thousands” of aforementioned articles and self-help books, the researchers did all the work for you, studying which sexy techniques prove most effective.

The study found that women who orgasmed more frequently were more likely to receive more oral sex. “Fewer than half of couples usually always incorporate oral sex when they are sexually intimate” Frederick says. They also have sex for a longer duration and tend to be more satisfied in their relationships, presumably as a direct result of fantastic sex. Women who experienced more frequent orgasms also asked for what they wanted in bed, praised their partner for something that felt good, would call or email their partner during the day to tease them about doing something sexual, incorporated dirty talk into their sexual repertoire and wore sexy lingerie. There are many options provided, gentlemen, so there’s no excuse.

Something else to consider: anal stimulation. This, as well as acting out sexual fantasies also proved to get the juices flowing. Most effective, however, was the combination of deep kissing, manual genital stimulation, and/or oral sex in addition to vaginal intercourse. This is called the “golden trio” according to Elizabeth Lloyd, a faculty scholar at the Kinsey Institute. She found the biggest takeaway from their research was the confirmation of the effectiveness of these three actions, which proved to work even if a woman can’t climax through intercourse alone.

There’s something to be learned from women who have sex with other women, too, Lloyd suggests. “We found that these activities, which are very often what lesbians do in bed, are transferable to what heterosexual couples could do in bed if they really wanted the woman to have an orgasm.”

With the insights offered in this article, there’s no more excuses. We can no longer blame our sexual deficiencies on the complications of the female orgasm. It’s not all that difficult, fellas. Just give her the trifecta.