Shortly after the New York Times published the sexual harassment allegations against Harvey Weinstein, Barna Group conducted a survey of 1,019 U.S. adults to find out what behaviors they consider sexual harassment. The recently-released results inspire a series of questions about what is necessary in order to combat future misconduct.

Among the survey’s findings, 76 percent of men think exposing themselves or masturbating in front of someone else at work qualifies as sexual harassment. (The other 24 percent apparently believe that’s acceptable workplace behavior.) Meanwhile, 89 percent of the women surveyed labeled those same actions as sexual harassment. Overall, both men and women seem to agree on what qualifies as harassment, but for almost every behavior on the list, from “touching or groping” to “making a sexual joke,” more women than men identified it as sexual harassment. The only tie was “light-hearted flirting,” which only 12 percent of both men and women considered harassment.

Is there actually a clear and concise path to get all people–no matter their gender identify–to accept and understand what sexual harassment truly entails? To find out, Playboy reached out to Joanna L. Grossman, a law professor at SMU Dedman, and the author of Nine to Five: How Gender, Sex, and Sexuality Continue to Define the American Workplace. Grossman took a look at the Barna Group’s results and says, “This survey’s differences seems slightly bigger than the rest of the research would suggest exists, in terms of male/female differences.” Based on her experience and other research she’s read, she says, “At the very severe end, there are relatively small gender differences. Most people can identify wrongful conduct that’s closer to the rape end of the spectrum.”

While people seem to agree on what kinds of physical behavior qualify as harassment, Grossman says there can be differences in how social behavior, which is often more ambiguous, is interpreted. In some cases, one person doesn’t consider a behavior sexual at all—they think they’re just being social and friendly. Grossman says that even in situations like this, the gender differences are marginal. She says, “They’re not as significant as people might expect, but they do exist. For example, if behavior is sort of ambiguous, women are maybe more likely to perceive it as sexual and negative.” She adds, “Men are less likely to perceive it as sexual in the first place. If they do perceive it as sexual, they’re more likely to perceive that as a positive thing, like that makes work more titillating as opposed to threatening.”

Grossman was surprised by the Barna Group’s finding that 24 percent of men didn’t consider it harassment to expose themselves at work. She says, “That would be behavior that I would think would be pretty squarely in the obviously inappropriate category.” Before some of the recent news stories came out, Grossman says she had no idea that people exposing themselves at work was such an issue, because it’s not the kind of thing researchers had ever really asked about. She says, “Even though I work in this area and I’ve read all the studies and all the surveys—I’ve been doing this for 20 years—if you came forward and told me, ‘I’ve heard there’s a real problem with men cornering women at work and making them watch them masturbate,’ I would’ve been like, ‘Really?’”

In her experience, Grossman says men who sexually harass people in physical ways know that what they’re doing is wrong. She says, “We don’t have any reason in all of the research that’s ever been done to think that men can’t tell the difference between, for example, an involuntary sexual assault and something consensual.” In response to the ongoing spate of public apologies saying, “I didn’t know then what I know now,” Grossman insists, “If they say they didn’t know it was wrong, they’re just lying. It’s not that they were subconsciously thinking it was OK. They were taking advantage of a situation because they thought they could get away with it.”

While some men pretend they don’t think a certain behavior is wrong, others become overly cautious. This week, a piece in the Washington Post featured a man who no longer feels safe even saying “Good morning” to his female coworkers. Grossman says avoiding interactions with women isn’t the answer either. “We know that people are pretty good at telling the difference between the things that are absolutely wrong, criminal, unacceptable, and the things that are ambiguous, and the things that are fine. People are actually relatively good at making those distinctions—men and women.“ She continues, "I don’t like to make too much of these gender distinctions, because I think there are actually relatively few situations where you would have a genuine difference of opinion of the wrongfulness of conduct.”

Yes, that means it’s still okay to say “Good morning” to the women you work with, and even to flirt with them—as long as that flirting is welcome. Grossman adds, “If you ask someone out at work, and you have no reason to think they will be repelled or intimidated by this request, it’s just some normal coworker interaction. You haven’t done anything wrong. If you then get the message back, ‘No, and please don’t ask me that. I feel uncomfortable, I don’t date coworkers, I’m married,’ or whatever, then you’re done. The next time, you already know it’s unwelcome, so you should not be pursuing that. But the first time, in a lot of situations, you haven’t done anything wrong.” She emphasized that it’s in fact fine for coworkers to date—with the exception of the CEO asking out his secretary, who may not feel free to say no. She did warn, though, that you have to be able to pick up on normal social cues. “If someone starts to avoid you and bristle every time you speak, you have to be understanding that they are trying to communicate with you that you’re making them uncomfortable.”

Grossman considers the recent rise in sexual harassment allegations to be a societal wakeup call, and suggests, “We have to at least start talking about these issues. Ideally we’d actually work toward resolving them.” She wishes more men would react to the sexual harassment stories by looking at their own behavior, and says, “Unfortunately, what I see more often is men saying, ‘Wow, I feel so vulnerable now, like anybody could accuse me of anything.’” She points out that the law has very strict requirements about the severity of sexual harassment, so if your main concern involves talking to your coworkers, you probably have nothing to worry about. She says, “It’s very hard to actually hold somebody accountable for verbal behavior and the one-off misplaced comment.”

While men and women may disagree on how to define the finer points of sexual harassment, there’s really no excuse to be confused about how to act at work. If you want to avoid ever sexually harassing a coworker, Grossman has a few words of simple advice: “Don’t rape people. Don’t touch people in sexual ways. Do not make anybody watch you masturbate. Do not let your penis be out at work. If you can just stay away from those sorts of things, you’re fine.”