What does it mean to be American? Is it recognizing and celebrating the struggle and triumph that our ancestors achieved when they set out to gain freedom and declared their independence from tyranny? Yes, of course. Definitely. But it also means watching football with a handle of Jack Daniels in one hand and a BBQ sandwich in the other as you use your big toe to fire off a shotgun shell into the side of an ole Chevy pickup truck. And let’s be honest, which one sounds like more fun? Here are some more of the most American things done by users of Reddit.
I’m not even American, but I was on a road trip across the west coast in a Mustang GT, eating beef jerky and slurping on a root beer whilst on some isolated highway, driving into the sunset. I had to stop my life for a second to make sure I was still British.
Got a burger at the Burger King drive thru then went to a McDonald’s drive thru to get fries.
Went to a Nascar race and shotgunned beers with a guy with no teeth.
Watched someone set off fireworks in the theater during a showing of “Team America: World Police” on July 4.
I said I didn’t care about learning a second language.
Yesterday, I went to Walmart to buy my fishing license, beef jerky, a cooler, ice, pantyhose, raw chicken and beer. Went muddin’ and night fishin’ last night with all my buddies. We tore up some trails, fished for a little and ended up comin’ back to my room. We shared a 30 rack of Keystone Light until 2 in the morning. As my buddy was leaving to go back to his room, he asked me “Wanna learn how to gut a pig around 9 this morning?”
I went skeet shooting the morning of the day I was taking my citizenship oath. I became an American wrapped in the smell of gunpowder.
Had sex with a Danish girl in Denmark on Halloween without fully removing my homemade Captain America costume.
I asked my grandfather and got the response I anticipated, “Shot Nazis and liberated Europe.”
Drunken me (dressed is an American flag morph suit with a flag cape) declared that I was George Washington and I had to cross the Delaware during a Fourth of July lake party. I then proceeded to swim across the whole lake still dressed in American flag regalia, ruining all of it in the process and almost drowned.
I wore basketball shorts and a baseball cap while I talked loudly in Europe.
I sat on the hood of my 4x4 Ford truck as my friend drove me through our field. I had one hand chugging a beer and the other hand on a pistol trying to shoot rabbits as we plowed through at 35mph listening to the Top Gun anthem. When you are this patriotic, you don’t even need to hold on.
I voted in a primary election solely for the “I voted” sticker, because the local headshop was giving a 30% discount to those who had voted that day. Got my first bong that day. Named him Uncle Sam.
Jerked off a bald eagle.