The best bar crawl I’ve ever been on was borne out of necessity. It was my birthday, I think, maybe 23 or 24, and we planned on moving the party from my apartment to the beloved, dearly departed sports pub conveniently located a floor below. My friends retreated downstairs, intending to set up shop until last call, but were promptly instructed to exit the premises after management kicked out an unruly member of our group (me) for drunkenly throwing ice cubes at the bouncers. So we were forced to take our show on the road and make brief stops at each of the neighborhood establishments to keep the beers flowing, fast, before I could get punched. The next morning I woke up and my wallet was gone.
That’s my best bar crawl story, and it isn’t even especially memorable. Let’s say your tale trumps it; maybe you ended up in a cop car on St. Patty’s Day or a jail cell during SantaCon.
I guarantee your bar crawl—anyone’s bar crawl—still isn’t as cool as this: For just $5,000, you and five buddies can fly to Canada and take a motherfucking seaplane—as in a plane that TAKES OFF AND LANDS ON WATER—all over British Columbia to visit the province’s best pubs and breweries.
Aspiring bachelor party planners, take note: Fork over the dough and you’ll get to cruise in a luxe Cessna Caravan and visit Canada’s oldest brewpub, stop in Tofino for oceanside beers, and head to Victoria to have a crawl within a crawl, Inception-style, by hitting up the city’s many breweries. According to BC Beer Tour’s site, you can do the whole trip in a day or spread it out over a weekend.
If you’re all set to jet but need a sixth man, can you please invite me? I promise I won’t piss off the seaplane captain by hurling ice cubes at him.