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New York Governor Bans Palcohol, Because America is No Longer Fun

Well, now you’re going to have to take your booze in liquid form like some kind of caveman, at least if you’re a New Yorker. On Friday, Governor Andrew Cuomo signed legislation for a state-wide ban on the sale of powdered alcohol, which is pretty adorably known as “Palcohol.”

You may remember the drink, given its exhilarating and wondrous novelty level of a My First Chemistry Set (but with booze!). It was the talk of the town in spring! We all fantasized about getting day-drunk during summer activities without carrying around heavy bottles)—hiking, kayaking, jetskiing, maybe even parasailing.

But, no, that’s over now. The most sneakable drink to ever exist, perfect for rock concerts and funerals, is on its way out.

The fear is that, since it’s a powder, Palcohol would be easier to hide and therefore attract underage drinkers. The state government also thinks it’s pretty likely for the substance to be mixed or ingested in incorrect amounts, leading to unsafe levels of intoxication. There’s also the looming gasp-inducing thought these degenerates might snort it and overdose in five seconds (see Wired’s video above to see how that goes).

It just doesn’t feel like we made the most of this powdered alcohol life we were given, you know? I thought we had more time. We all did. But, sigh, it’s been a short, curious ride with Palcohol. It was only approved by The Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau in early March, and New York is already the 23rd state to ban powdered booze.

A (liquid) toast to the Sprinkled Spirit, the Groovy Gundpowder, the Slowdance Sawdust, the Junkyard Gin Joint, our beloved Palcohol.

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