The nights are getting darker earlier and our beds are getting colder. Gone are the days of beach flings and communal sunbathing, independent gallivanting and treating your hookups like relationship amuse-bouches. Ladies and gentleman, cuffing season is upon us. ‘Tis the time to find a boo to fall-back with this fall and warm you up this winter.
But falling in love, or even in like, isn’t always easy. Luckily, the world of Internet dating has micro-targeted us down to our cores. These niche dating sites prove–there’s someone out there for everyone. At least for a night.
Death workers www.dead-meet.com
You have to be dying to meet someone to login in to this site. Did you catch the juicy double entendre in its name? Dead Meet allows “people in the death industry to meet like-minded individuals” (and then bone). Anatomists, taxidermists, crematorium techs, and more gather here.
Looking to fall in love with a lounger? 420-Dating seems like the way to do it. According to the site, “the relaxed lifestyle that most marijuana users enjoy is something to be shared.” Truer words were never written. Find yourself a cannabis companion this #PuffPuffPassTuesday.
Sow your oats with a fellow crop cultivator! This is the perfect site to discover how randy ranchers may get you. Best of all, you’ll probably get some free kale out of it.
Sunni Muslims www.marryasunni.com
No Shiites allowed. Unclear on Suffis.
“Where real relationships begin,” boasts the website. Furrymate.com is proud to have been created by furries, for furries.
Alternative BDSM-ers www.churchofchains.com
“We are the new free dating and lifestyle site for those interested in modern, dark, Punk, Goth, alternative, futuristic and post apocalyptic lifestyle.” Enough said.
Teachers are super down to sleep with other teachers. Makes sense, I guess? It’s probably fun to find someone who can bone all summer when school’s out.
Busy yuppies itsjustlunch.com
This is a dating site for multi-tasking professionals who pay matchmakers to co-opt their personal lives during lunch breaks. Employment in this economy is always sexy.
Hone your game: this site will help you get from cosplayer to just player.
Make that money, honey. This site is designed to settle your business before your pleasure. Sugar mamas and daddies arrange payment amounts with their suitors prior to the date.
Any site where dropping the word ‘neoliberal’ is going to help you get laid has to be the douchiest dating site ever. Go there to experience misguided self-importance, veiled racism, and love for bad red wine.
The site for those who need help flirting with someone with a different racial identity. No comment.
“Nothing gets your creativity flowing quite as much as being around other creative people.“
Senior Citizens www.seniorscircle.com
There’s no shame in getting older, especially if it means connecting with new sexy, elderly lovers.
For those of us who don’t think sex is enough of a workout on its own.