No, not “Mario.” That would be too easy, wouldn’t it?

On the other hand, how many people do you know named “Bowser”? Nintendo’s latest hire is Doug Bowser, who will serve as Vice President overseeing US sales. Also, he may be a Koopa in disguise.

I’m sure Doug is more than qualified for the role; he came straight from EA, another of the world’s largest video game publishers. But Nintendo’s top brass was pretty much obligated to hire him just so they could sign off on the press release that went out this morning.

“Doug Bowser brings decades of experience, not fire breath, to new role,” it reads. And most Nintendo fans never thought they’d read the sentence, “Bowser also will manage Nintendo’s key retail customer relationships and will oversee retail marketing for the Nintendo World store in New York.”

It just sounds so wrong, but who knows? The Mushroom Kingdom may be due for a hostile takeover.