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13 Hilarious NSFW ‘Roses are Red’ Poems

13 Hilarious NSFW ‘Roses are Red’ Poems: Photo credit: What on Earth Catalog

Photo credit: What on Earth Catalog

There is nothing better than hearing your sweetheart declare his love for you with a heartfelt poem. These are not those kind of poems. Below are some of the funniest ‘not safe for work’ poems that begin with the traditional “Roses Are Red…” Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

1. Solo Work

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’m using my hand
But thinking of you

2. Poet Laureate Bubba Sparxx

Roses are red
True love is rare
Booty, booty, booty, booty
Rocking everywhere

3. It’s a poem, so it’s classy

Roses are red,
Areolas are pink.
If you show me yours,
I’ll buy you a drink.

4. This one requires some math

Roses are red
You are so fine
I’ll be the 6
If you be the 9

5. Probably should get those checked out

Roses are red.
Violets around blue.
So are my balls.
Because of you.

6. I think we’ve found a trend…

Roses are red
I’m sure you can tell it
Don’t leave your tissue out
Cause your mom can smell it

7. Not the best ‘happy ending’

Roses are red
I ran outta luck
Now I get laid everyday
By my cellmate Big Chuck

8. This one could’ve gone down a very dark path

Roses are red,
That teen asked for beer,
Instead meet Chris Hansen,
Have a seat right here.

9. Too soon?

Roses are Red,
Violets are Glorious.
Don’t try to surprise,
Oscar Pistorius.

10. This poem is called “Doing the Right Thing”

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I just got tested,
And you should too.

11. We said NSFW for a reason

Roses are red
So are my lips
So sit on my face
And wiggle your hips

12. I think that’s a STD

Roses are red,
Vaginas are too,
Wait, what the fuck?
Why is yours blue?!

13. They don’t need to rhyme

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Blow jobs are nice
Just sayin’.

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