As far as I know, I have never been hit on. The price of being chubby and too awesome to approach I think. I have however hit on thousands of women. I usually just tell them that I make a hell of a turkey burger and parents love me. It’s not very successful. Beginning to think I should steal one of these lines below (the homeless man’s, in particular.)

RELATED: Bartenders Describe the Worst Pickup Lines They’ve Ever Heard