I have been cheated on once by a former girlfriend. I unfortunately (fortunately for him) did not catch them in the act, but rather deduced it myself from context clues (98th percentile on SAT Verbal). My best friend however has been caught, and paid the price. His girlfriend at the time was a college athlete and he woke up with her on top of him, punching him as hard as she could in the face. Closed fists. We both admit that he deserved it. Below are some more stories compiled from Reddit about scorned lovers who walked in or otherwise discovered their exes being unfaithful.
MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT
Went into my then-boyfriend’s house to get a phone charger before work. Walked into his bedroom and found him in bed with another woman. Then took a picture of them in bed, and SENT IT TO HIS MOTHER.
I walked in early from work. My door was locked. It’s never locked. So I super stealth mode opened the door and found her and my roommate in bed together. I simply had her move her stuff from my room to his. I hooked up with one of her friends like a week later and she was pissed. They both moved out at the end of the month. She tried to break in after I went on deployment, but didn’t know that I found a new roommate. He pulled a sword on her, it was epic.
EYE SEE YOU
I was dating my neighbor, and his door was 10 feet away from my front door. One night I had some friends over and he went out with his friends. We had some Nerf guns at my apartment and my friend shot me in the eye and scratched my cornea. It was so painful. I didn’t know what to do, it was pretty late at night and I had been drinking so I decided the best thing to do was just take some allergy medicine and fall into a Benadryl coma. I woke up the next morning and was in so much pain. I couldn’t open my eye, and crying made it burn which made me cry more. So, I ran over to my boyfriends apartment, let myself in (we had copies of each other’s keys) and as I was going up the stairs to his room I kept thinking “hm, women’s shoes! How weird.” And “I wonder whose pants those are!” But I was so set on having him drive me to the emergency room or something so I just busted into his room and there he was, in bed with his best girl friend. They hadn’t heard me come in, so I just stood there for an uncomfortably long time. I ended up slamming the door behind me, running back to my apartment and was so upset with everything that I sat on my floor of my bedroom and had a full fledge melt down. I was unconsciously hitting the floor so hard with my hands that my knuckles were raw and bruised. My roommate eventually came in and dragged me to the ER were I was then told I had an infection in my eye and had to get it flushed out. Bad day.
DID THE STAFF STILL SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY?
He agreed to meet me for lunch on my birthday at work. My manager decided to let me out a few minutes early and I saw him being dropped off by another girl who kissed him goodbye and drove off. Turned out neither of us knew about the other and though we were dating a sweet guy. We both dumped him and became pretty good friends. I even went to her wedding in December. Life can be funny sometimes…
MAYBE THEIR DEFINITION OF SIBLINGS DIFFERS FROM HERS
We had a huge fight the evening before regarding his odd behavior and this girl in his life that I didn’t feel comfortable with. She ended up messaging me afterwards to assure me that they are like siblings and nothing would ever happen. Fast forward to the next day, I get a message from his best friend asking when he was coming back. So I called and told him we haven’t spoken since our argument. My ex told his friend that he was coming over to makeup with me and would be back in a hour…4 hours ago. He had his phone off, which never happens, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt that maybe he got in a car accident on the highway (he is a shitty driver) between our houses or something of that nature. Went for a drive with his friend, stopped at a couple common stops of his, nothing. Then I figured I would check one last spot, her house. SURE ENOUGH there he was. Parked in the driveway, they didn’t even make it inside. His friend hopped out of my car banged on his window, where they were buck naked, yelled “you got some shit to fix” ran back to my car. My ex kicked the chick out naked on her driveway, and the car chase ensued down the highway back to my place where he begged and pleaded with me saying it wasn’t what it looked like blah blah blah. And that was the end of that. Bonus, his best friend became my best friend instead after that.
“YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS LARRY?!”
I had a motorcycle that I would ride to and from work. I parked it in our basement, which was a walk-out. That means that I would have to ride down a hill to get to the basement. After a few weeks of riding, I would roll down our street, kill the engine and coast down the hill to the basement. Kept the exhaust fumes out of the basement. Well, my ex didn’t realize this. I came home early one afternoon and say my buddy’s truck parked in the driveway. I thought, “Cool, Larry is here.” I killed the engine and coasted down the hill as usual. Parked the bike in the basement and walked upstairs. I saw Larry’s boots at the door. Nice guy, takes off his boots before coming in. Set my helmet on the counter, grab a beer out of the fridge and looked through the mail. It took me a second, but I realized I was alone. WTF, where is everybody? Just then, Larry comes walking out of the hallway. “Hey man, what’s up?” I’m thinking he was just using the toilet. I said, “hey, what are you up to?” Just then, my ex walks out of the hallway and starts screaming at me, “THIS IS YOUR FAULT! IF YOU WOULD PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME, THIS WOULDN’T HAPPEN!” Needless to say, I was blown away. WTF? I just got home from work, WTF are you going off about? I looked at Larry, confused. He said, “this has been happening for a couple of months. Sorry, man.” Then, it clicked. He’d been fucking my girl. I didn’t say anything. I grabbed whatever I could fit in my backpack, the $8k cash I had been saving for our wedding, and my pistol. One my way out, I cracked Larry in the jaw. Ended up breaking it. Those shitbags are married now. Last I heard, she cheated on him twice and he’s been arrested 4 times for domestic abuse. I’ve been happily married for 11 years.
Told the guy “put your pants on. I’m not going to beat the fuck out of you while you’re naked.” So he put his pants on. And I beat the fuck out of him.