There was once a time where the Super Bowl was just an event where people watched the two best NFL teams go head-to-head for a meaningless trophy. Nowadays, it’s the most watched TV event every single year, even though we’re all 100 percent aware that the sport is destroying the brains of football players. But hey, we can ignore all that for all those hilarious commercials!

They say “Sex Sells” but Super Bowl commercials rarely feature much sex. The closest they get is those stupid Go Daddy commercials where it looks like Danica Patrick’s going to get naked, but then it tells you to go to their website to see more. And then you go there, and she still isn’t naked. It’s stupid.

Anyways, PETA attempted to put a commercial in this year’s Super Bowl. Unfortunately, the ad got banned for being two sexy. It makes sense considering the commercial features two couples “knocking boots” or whatever the Network censors said when they refused to air it. Here’s the commercial below:


Honestly, you can see more in most episodes of almost any cable program. But the puritans over at CBS said this could not be allowed on air. How dare the children, who are watching 300-pound men bashing their heads together, causing long term injuries and ruining the lives of themselves and their families, be subjected to a little inappropriate content?

Let’s hope Coldplay doesn’t expose any boobs during their performance or the fate of Western Civilization might be in jeopardy.

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Joseph Misulonas is the Girls co-editor for Despite his comments in this article, he loves football and will be watching the Super Bowl. He can be found on Twitter at @jmisulonas.