Everyone loves ordering a delicious pizza for dinner. But did you ever know how that pizza got to your door? There’s a guy whose job it is to deliver it to you. Hard to believe, I know. A bunch of pizza deliverers went to Reddit to share their worst experiences on the job. Here are some of the best (for us, not them):
1. The “Get Well Soon” Pizza
I delivered to this family and their dog had just died. I got up to the sidewalk and noticed a woman sprawled out, face-up, on the driveway, just screaming and bawling. She gets up and composes herself and acts like nothing’s wrong. We walk to her door together and she pays and explains and says she’s embarrassed, I said no problem. They open their delivery and we MESSED UP THEIR ORDER. At that point, her husband came and relieved her of her box, as she had just started bawling again. Glad I got to make her day even worse by messing up their dinner as well.
2. The Confiscated Pizza
I was delivering to a Motel 6, which was always an adventure. I pulled in and there were cop cars everywhere. I thought, “Please don’t be the person who ordered pizza. Don’t be the person who ordered pizza. Oh great, it’s definitely the guy.” We locked eyes and he was in cuffs. He turns around and says something to the cop. The cop grabs the money off the dresser and I gave him the pizza. At least it was a decent tip.
3. At least they wore robes
I once delivered to an apartment where two people in bathrobes answered the door. I could see their bondage equipment and garments under their robes.
4. Sounds like she’s not a MILF
There is a woman in Stroud, U.K., that will answer the door to us naked from the waist down every single time. It’s not a pretty sight and we all hate taking that delivery.
5. Can Pizza Boys be called as witnesses at trial?
One time I showed up in the middle of a horribly heated discussion about child support. When I got there with not only pizza, but wings and an overpriced 2-liter, I was used as ammunition that she was not spending what he gave her wisely. It was awkward, to say the least.
6. Penny pinching old bag
This one lady ordered a sandwich, which was just at the 6-dollar minimum for delivery. Total was $5.99 plus tax. Of course, I come to the door and it’s an old lady. I tell her the price is $6.34 and she goes off on a tangent about how it was supposed to be $5.99.
I had to sit there and explain sales tax to her. She shut the door and came back with a calculator and I had to explain to her how to multiply by the tax rate and showed her why it was not $5.99 like her coupon said.
7. If the Jason Statham delivered pizza…
I had to fight a guy off after delivering a pizza. He was very drunk and thought I was a taxi so he kept on trying to get in my car. I literally kicked him out of the passenger side and sped off into the night with the passenger door open until the next hard right.
8. Inadvertently Generous Tipper
I showed up to deliver a pizza on a hot summer night and the guy who ordered it was passed out flat on his back in the living room just inside the screen door. The TV was blasting so loud he would have had a hard time hearing me knocking and shouting even if he hadn’t been unconscious. After about a minute he stirred, got himself up and paid. I think he intended to give me two tens and a one for the $18 pizza, but he was so out of it he gave me two twenties and a five, $27 tip.
9. This one’s just depressing
I’ve been delivering for 2 years, and surprisingly haven’t had any awkward situations, but there was this one little kid who answered the door, he was probably about 4, for his mom. He brought the receipt to his mom to sign, and when he brought it back, he said, “Here, my mom doesn’t tip so I will!” He gave me this crumpled-up dollar from his pocket.
10. Douche chills coming
I was delivering food when this extremely weak, sickly old man came to the door. He was so weak he had to lean on the door to stay up. After he paid, he reached his weak shaking hand out, so I shook it. I thought he was being nice. I shook his weak old hand and it felt like death. Turns out he was just reaching for his food. I felt like an idiot.
11. Not a healthy sibling relationship
Girl answers the door, and yells to her sister, “Your boyfriend’s here.” Sister comes running down in her bra and underwear. Gets to the door sees a confused-looking pizza guy so she screams and runs away while yelling profanities at her sister.
The sister loses it laughing and gives me a $8 tip.
12. For that tip, he should’ve done a little extra
I was delivering 2 large pizzas to an apartment building one night. The recipient was waiting for me in the lobby. He was staggeringly drunk. Throughout the exchange he was vehemently trying to get me to come back up to his unit with him. I am not sure if he was gay or wanted to kill me, but either way I refused. When he finally got to paying me, he just handed me $100 bill for the $30 order. He insisted I keep the change and may have winked at me as he said it. I am not positive on the wink, though as he was so drunk his eyes were not totally coordinated.
13. Smooth talker
It was my first day and my first delivery ever. It was to a Motel 6. The guy answered wearing red pumps, a purple and black kitty cat thong, and a pink felt blouse. I told him I liked his purse and walked out with a $20 tip :)
14. This is pretty terrible
I’m a girl and was delivering a big order to a guy’s party.
The apartment was on the top floor so after hauling about 10 pizzas up three flights of stairs I looked considerably frazzled.
The guy opens the door and there are about 15 men in the apartment and he says I should come in and put them down on the table. Now, I know better than to just enter people’s houses but this table was right near the door and there was no way I was going to be able to take the cash with three pizza bags draped over my arms so I take one step towards the table and hear the door slam shut behind me.
He locks the door and says, “We got one” and all these guys start snickering. Although it turned out to be a joke (albeit, not a funny one), it was one of the most terrifying moments in my life.
15. Keep the dirt of the slice
Once, I was delivering pizza and when I got to the house a guy was hiding in the bushes of the home. He whispers to put the pizza at the bottom of the garbage can outside and then come over to the bushes so he could sign the receipt, etc. Apparently the guy didn’t want his wife to know that he had ordered pizza. He ordered regularly and this happened each time.