If there has ever been a time where I wondered aloud, “can I get some of whatever they are smoking” it would be this moment. I can only imagine how good the weed the inventor of “Pizzatops” was smoking, a shoe that orders pizza. How else can you explain the idea of a shoe that orders pizza?

Only 64 pairs of these bad boys were made as a way to honor the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament beginning this month, and to affirm that pizza hut is indeed “sole food.” Unfortunately, the shoes won’t be going on sale to the public. So those men who picked the week of March Madness to be couch-ridden post-vasectomy, won’t be able to reach down and order a pizza no problem. Like a totally 19th century peasant, they will still have to get a delivery boy.

Fingers crossed that one day there will be flip-flops that let you order Coronas, AND have the bottle opener underneath. Get on it, scientific community.