I am blessed with something my girlfriend finds fascinating: a curved penis. The problem: How do I measure it? Around the outside curve, it’s eight inches; along the inside, it is a little more than six. Would I be dishonest to boast the eight inches? Also, do you know of any sexual positions that take advantage of a penis that is crooked?R. B., Phoenix, Arizona

Dishonest, no. Tacky, yes. You would probably fare better with a policy of truth in advertising. Many women have seen eight inches, or six inches, but both at the same time? For positions, try something known as the Captain Hook. Have your girlfriend lie on her side on a desk or tabletop. Stand facing her and use the long or the short of it, as you prefer.

This question is from the MAY 1988 issue of Playboy. To read more from the Advisor column, click here.

For answers to reasonable questions relating to food and drink, fashion and taste, and sex and dating, write the Playboy Advisor, 9346 Civic Center Drive, Beverly Hills, California 90210, or email advisor@playboy.com. The most interesting and pertinent questions will be presented in these pages each month.