Almost every time I try to hook up with a new woman, she’ll ask me how many partners I’ve been with. I consider that personal information. When I refuse to answer it puts a damper on the mood. The women say they want to know because the number could make them change their minds. Would it be better if I didn’t answer or lied about the number? I’ve been with a total of 72 partners. What’s the cutoff point for most women?—K.C., Jonesport, Maine
You are definitely on the high side of the statistical range, with the average American man having seven sexual partners in his lifetime. Clearly, refusing to answer hasn’t worked out for you. And lying is just plain sneaky and could come back to bite you should one of your many hookups turn into a long-term relationship. Can you blame them for asking? You’re using personal information as an excuse for not telling them while expecting them to share their bodies with you in the most personal way possible. You might consider why “almost everyone” asks. Ask yourself what kind of vibe you’re giving off for them to question your track record. Be honest about your sexual accomplishments and maybe it will work in your favor. And if it doesn’t, then at least you’ll know you’re being rejected for who you are, not who you’re pretending to be.
This question is from the JAN/FEB 2014 issue of Playboy. To read the rest of this Advisor column, click here.
For answers to reasonable questions relating to food and drink, fashion and taste, and sex and dating, write the Playboy Advisor, 9346 Civic Center Drive, Beverly Hills, California 90210, or email email@example.com. The most interesting and pertinent questions will be presented in these pages each month.