Twitter Facebook Instagram Google+ Tumblr YouTube E-Mail WhatsApp Sign In Check Close snapchat
Search
Exit Clear
Playboy Advisor Playboy Advisor

Playboy Advisor: What Do Women in Other Countries Do When They Climax?

Playboy Advisor: What Do Women in Other Countries Do When They Climax?:

I was raised a Catholic, but now I’m agnostic. Despite this, I still find myself shouting “Oh God!” during orgasms. I have long wondered what women in other countries shout when they climax. What do you think?G.V., Toledo, Ohio
Much has been said about the sudden apparent religiosity that descends on even the most ardent agnostics and nonbelievers at the moment of orgasm. References to a deity certainly cross borders, showing up in the German “Oh Gott” and Spanish “Dios mio,” but we think these uses are more likely to be happy expletives rather than prayers. Along with variations on the “Oh God” theme, there are of course international versions of “I’m coming”: “Iku” in Japanese; “Me corro” in Spanish; “Je viens” in French. No matter your faith or nationality, in that moment it’s all metaphor—or, better yet, metaphor-play.

I am a very sexual individual with a wonderful wife of more than 20 years. She has given me countless phenomenal blow jobs; if we could bottle and sell her technique, we would be millionaires. In addition to the incredible oral sex I get several times a week, we still regularly have intercourse—just not early in the day. I have never been able to convince her to experiment with morning sex, even though I always have enormous morning wood. How do I get her excited about sex in the A.M.?J.G., Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Have you tried brushing your teeth first?

I got my one and only tattoo in 1980, immediately after I’d completed basic training. A year later I grew unhappy with the tattoo and tried to get rid of it with a DIY remover; it was painful and made a mess of the design. Then, a few years after that, I went to a doctor for dermabrasion treatment. The process was excruciating, but it succeeded in removing 95 percent of the ink—along with some skin pigmentation. Despite my unpleasant and painful experiences, I’m contemplating getting another tattoo. But this time I want to know in advance about my removal options. What is state-of-the-art tattoo removal like today? Have things changed in the past three decades?D.G., Houston, Texas
Tattoo-removal technology has advanced since your last brutal brush with dermabrasion, but a tattoo is still not an easy thing to undo. It remains painful and complicated, no matter the process. Dermabrasion was the quickest route to removal, but it frequently had the unfortunate side effect of leaving a scar, which is why that process has fallen out of favor. Laser removal is now the most commonly performed procedure, but it can be costly and take upward of 10 visits to completely remove the ink, depending on the size and complexity of the tattoo. Removing a tattoo with multiple colors may require various laser types, because not all lasers are capable of destroying all pigments. (If you really want to nerd out, the only acceptable types of lasers for tattoo removal are Q-switched lasers in ruby, alexandrite or Nd:YAG, each one doing a better job than the other at destroying certain pigments. The more colorful and complicated the tattoo, the more laser types will be involved in its removal.) If you’re not willing to commit to a tattoo for life, consider opting out. The adage remains: Think before you ink.

For several years my wife and I have been collecting whiskey. Our collection now includes more than 150 bottles, and its total value is somewhere between $10,000 and $15,000. We are wondering what options exist to protect our investment. Recently we’ve seen advertisements for whiskey insurance to protect against broken bottles, theft and unauthorized consumption. Are these legitimate companies and policies, or are we better off purchasing a rider on our homeowners insurance?J.K., Glenville, New York
Contact your insurance agent and check your current coverage. It’s possible your collection is already covered along with the rest of your belongings. If you do need a rider or have to increase your coverage, that will likely be much easier and more cost-effective than buying a separate policy. Whatever you choose to do, be sure to document each bottle on an itemized list and in photographs. Store these records off-site or online. Should misfortune befall your fine stash, you’ll be glad you have these files to refer to.

My wife and I have been together for about two decades and have always had a good sex life and a great marriage. Shortly after we married we got into gameplay and soft swinging with a couple we knew. Unfortunately, the couple we were swinging with separated. I still have fantasies about engaging in gameplay and possibly a threesome with the man from this couple and my wife; he’s still a close friend of ours. Is this a good idea? Is it normal?D.L., Tampa, Florida
As much as we would all be comforted by the notion of normalcy, there’s no such thing. If you’re asking whether what you’re suggesting is commonly accepted in society, it depends entirely on what society you’re part of. You are already part of the swinging culture, in which having sex in front of other men is statistically more common than in society at large. As for whether it’s a good idea to have a threesome, of course it’s okay if everyone is on board. You seem to be a liberal and freewheeling crew, so we can’t see any harm in at least inquiring. Just be prepared for a yes or a no, and if both your wife and your friend go for it, be sure to lay out the ground rules and expectations ahead of time.

I am 43 and look good for my age. I attribute this to diet, exercise and drinking a lot of water. Because I keep myself well hydrated, I have a hyperactive bladder. I usually have to urinate two times during the night. To avoid disrupting my sleep too much, I pee in a glass cup, which I clean regularly and keep beside the bed. I just started a new relationship and haven’t yet exposed my girlfriend to my nighttime routine. Her bedroom doesn’t have an attached bathroom, and I must go down steep stairs to use the toilet at night. Sometimes I can’t go back to sleep afterward. Is using my pee cup at night poor etiquette while I’m in a relationship?U.L., Peoria, Illinois
It would be one thing if you were living in a cabin in the woods in the dead of winter under threat of attack from hungry bears with an outhouse as your only option for relieving yourself. But the days of chamber pots are long behind us, and it’s time for you to retire this quirky indulgence before you scare away your new girlfriend. Try tapering off your water intake during the evening hours, basically refraining from your hyperhydration routine after six P.M. Just make sure you get plenty of water earlier in the day.

Not too long ago, my best friend became my boss. Soon after, he disciplined me at work over a slight matter, and I didn’t think it was at all warranted. The whos and whats aren’t particularly significant, but the result is that now I’m conflicted about being the best man at his upcoming wedding, a commitment I made well before our disagreement. Prior to the incident at work, I would have unhesitatingly served as his best man, but now I can’t help but feel as though I would be disgracing his marriage if I am not fully committed. Am I being overly sensitive, or does my friend have an obligation to work this out with me to my satisfaction?T.C., Lubbock, Texas
Don’t let one small offense undo the years of goodwill you’ve clearly built up with each other. To refuse to be your friend’s best man over this isolated instance, which you even characterize as “slight,” would be petty. Is it possible you’re resentful of him for becoming your boss and getting married? Could the incident have been caused by your friend’s insecurity in his new role as your superior at work? Whether the answers are yes or no, the whats aren’t actually that important, as you say. We’re guessing that if you bury the hatchet and support your good friend on his wedding day, you’ll feel a lot better about everything.

I have a problem with condoms slipping off while I’m having sex. I use regular, nonspecific sizes. I read some recent research that shows the average length of an erect penis is 5.2 inches, while the girth is 4.6. Mine is longer than 6.5 inches while erect with a girth well beyond 4.6 inches. This condom mishap has occurred a few times throughout my life, and I have friends who have complained about a similar problem. They feel snug when they go on but then suddenly slip off and disappear. Short of having to hold the condom to my shaft (I’d rather be doing other things with my hand), what can I do? Are there any condoms especially made to stay put?C.B., Helena, Montana
Try going down a size in terms of your circumference. Look for condoms labeled or marketed as “snug” or “slim.” (Don’t worry, you will never have to ask for condoms in a size small—there’s no such thing, just as there are no 13th floors in most buildings.) Trojan ENZ and LifeStyles fit on the snugger, slimmer side. Also take care not to get any lubricant on the inside of the condom, which can cause it to slip off. In the interest of safe sex, don’t abandon your hand-grip technique until you’ve made absolutely sure you’ve found the proper fit.

I am planning a trip to Japan next spring that will hopefully coincide with the blossoming of the cherry trees. In addition to that, I plan to see Mount Fuji, the white castle in Osaka and the Imperial Palace, among other sights. Another must for my vacation is booking an evening with a geisha. I’m aware that geishas are not prostitutes, and I am not expecting anything sexual. I’m more interested in a maiko, or apprentice geisha, because of her stricter attention to detail, more colorful kimono and makeup and elaborate hairstyle. I would love a one-on-one evening (probably with an interpreter) or perhaps a tea-party setting, or a combination of the two. I’ve read that a formal introduction is necessary, but I don’t know what that means. The best geishas are in Kyoto, so I’m interested only in that city. How much would a geisha experience cost, and how would I go about booking one?R.H., Toledo, Ohio
For a couple hundred dollars you can join a group experience at a popular ryokan (the term for a traditional hotel in Kyoto) and performance space called Gion Hatanaka, which includes musical and dance performances by geishas and the opportunity to speak with them, albeit briefly. You may have to share a table with other guests, but you can book this in advance online. It has gotten rave reviews. For a more intimate experience you might want to book a five-star hotel in Kyoto and use its concierge to arrange a dinner at a restaurant with a geisha and translator. These experiences can cost upward of $1,000.

Are airline miles worth the trouble? Friends tell me they’re getting tougher and tougher to redeem. I recently started traveling cross-country for work and am wondering if I should commit to one airline’s frequent-flier program in the hopes that I’ll eventually earn enough miles to fly to Asia without having to shell out any cash.L.M., Sharon, Pennsylvania
It’s true that blackout dates and crowded flights make it harder to redeem miles, but it doesn’t hurt to commit to one carrier, particularly if your company is paying for your tickets. Just be sure the carrier flies to (or partners with airlines that travel to) your fantasy destination. To get a jump-start on stockpiling miles, search online for credit cards with big sign-up bonuses. A 40,000-mile sign-up bonus isn’t uncommon, and if you pay all your big bills through that card, you should be able to accumulate enough miles to get a free flight to Asia within a year. Don’t expect to be able to redeem miles during peak travel times such as spring break, Christmas and high summer. And be sure to zero out your balance every month, as interest charges can rapidly eat up the value of the miles you’ve earned.

After decades of wearing standard neckties I recently switched to bow ties. I watched several YouTube tutorials to learn how to tie one and now have four bow ties in my collection. I wear them as often as I can. Here’s my first question: How appropriate is it today to wear a bow tie instead of a necktie? Bow tie wearers are definitely in the minority, especially in the business world, though I have received many positive and complimentary comments when I’ve worn mine. Second: Sometimes the aristocratic characters on Downton Abbey wear white ties. Where can I buy one, and on what sort of occasion would I be able to wear it?A.L., Oneonta, New York
The appropriateness of a bow tie in a business setting is entirely dependent on the kind of business you’re talking about. Anyone who wears a bow tie is going to be seen as a person who wants to stand out from the crowd. In creative industries such as advertising, design or fashion, this can be a good thing, as the ability to make bold statements is seen as a desirable character trait and skill set. In finance or pharmaceuticals, not so much. But if you’re going to wear a bow tie, knowing how to actually tie it shows true commitment to the look. You should probably avoid white ties altogether, as they are reserved only for the most formal of occasions (which would be designated as such by the organizer). If you do go white tie, go all-in: waistcoat (that long-in-the-back penguin suit), patent leather shoes. That said, don’t hold your breath for such an invitation.

I love going down on my wife. What are the risks for my mouth and throat regarding whatever bacteria or viruses may normally be found down there? Neither of us has ever had another partner.Y.W., Queens, New York
If you are both as virginal as you say, then you have little to worry about and should enjoy your comparatively unique status as each other’s lifetime one and only. There is a small chance that if she were to have a yeast infection you might develop an oral yeast infection, known as thrush, but it’s treatable and should in no way discourage you from having your cake and eating it too.


For answers to reasonable questions relating to food and drink, fashion and taste and sex and dating e-mail advisor@playboy.com. The most interesting and pertinent questions will be presented each month.


More From Playboy Advisor See all Playboy Advisor

Playboy Social

Never miss an issue. Subscribe and save today!

Loading...