It has long been a fantasy of mine to become a member of the mile-high club, and I finally have a willing girlfriend. But I’m worried I was born in the wrong era, what with overbooked flights, air marshals and hyper-vigilant flight attendants conspiring against aerial quickies. Any tips on how to join?G.M., Ames, Iowa

You could blow 30 grand on a couple of private first-class suites, complete with doors and lie-flat seats, on an Emirates flight and join the club that way. But that’s too easy. If you’re living the economy life, book a long-haul red-eye and time your visit to the bathroom during that lull when the lights are dim, other passengers are asleep and the flight attendants are on break. You’ll have only a few minutes in that cramped and stinky bathroom, so—as stealthily as possible—get your libidos up to speed beforehand underneath a blanket in your seats.

This question is from the April 2015 issue of Playboy. To read the rest of this Advisor column, click here.

For answers to reasonable questions relating to food and drink, fashion and taste, and sex and dating, write the Playboy Advisor, 9346 Civic Center Drive, Beverly Hills, California 90210, or email The most interesting and pertinent questions will be presented in these pages each month.