Years ago I would put plastic sheets on the bed, pour warm oil on my girl and enjoy the slipping, sliding and massaging that followed. I would like to introduce this to my new girlfriend, but I have concerns. First, I remember my girl not liking baby oil in her hair. Second, I’m not sure oil is safe if it is carried into the vagina. Lubricating gel is safe, but it dries quickly and costs more. I’ve considered having a spray bottle of warm water nearby to reactivate the gel. Do you have any recommendations on what type of product to use?—C.E., Rapid City, South Dakota
Have you considered natural oils? Many people use coconut oil, sold at most supermarkets, or unscented sweet almond and grape seed oils, available from online massage-supply stores for $20 to $30 a gallon. You’ll need to use a water-based lubricant if you are relying on latex condoms, because oils will damage them. The vagina can handle a small amount of oil, but be cautious as it can upset the pH balance and lead to infections. If you’re a smart man, slip-sliding play begins with a full-body massage—for her.
Lately all the guys I ask out turn me down. They say it’s because I’m married, but I thought guys didn’t care about that. I don’t think I’m ugly or fat. What could be the reason they don’t like me?—C.H., Las Cruces, New Mexico
A man looking for a fling may not care if you’re married, but most deserve more credit than that. You may congratulate yourself for being honest about your dishonesty, but cheating on your husband leaves the prudent man wondering what lies you’re telling him.