If you were to name your dream gig, what would it be? Me? I’d probably say whatever the fuck Guy Fieri does for a living. Sure, maintaining any semblance of a physique would be near-impossible, but I’m sure women overlook any physical shortcomings that sprout as a result.

Anyway, the reason I pose this question is because LoveWoo, a sex-toy company located in London, England, is looking to hire a professional sex toy reviewer. I kid you not. According to the job description, the gig pays an annual salary of £28,000, which works out to roughly $33,000 American. The average single income in the U.S. is $34,940, so the pay isn’t half bad.

But wait, it gets better. The lucky applicant will work from home two days a week, doing God knows what. The other three days are spent in the office. Additional benefits include unlimited holidays (which doesn’t seem real or financially feasible), access to every sex toy, garment and game in the LoveWoo warehouse, a three-day company retreat, a discounted gym membership, private health care and birthdays off. Oh, you get the day before your birthday off, too. That seemed worth mentioning.

As for what the job entails, that’s even more envy-inducing. The job’s primary duty, of course, is to test the bounty of LoveWoo products and review them based on what each toy does well and how the device can be improved. The reviewer will then use social media to share their reviews, respond to customer queries and write features for the website.

Like the job itself, the application process is just as bizarre. To get the gig, aspiring reviewers will have to write a killer review of a sex toy of their choosing and send that baby in along with a CV or a video, which sounds like it could be trouble, given the nature of the gig.

As for what LoveWoo looking for? Not that much, admittedly. The company describes their ideal candidate as someone who is open-minded, has excellent communication skills and a great sense of humor. So basically anyone other than Donald Trump. The applicant has–ideally–been published before and should be able to create interesting features, advice pieces and product round-up guides.

But while this may seem like a dream job, an article in Metro, written by a professional sex toy reviewer, suggests that’s far from the truth, though her argument is privileged.

For starters, the writer, Violet Fenn, wails that the job can be boring, lamenting, “I swear that I could be handed the most wonderfully designed, orgasm-guaranteeing toy in existence and, rather than racing off to the bedroom for the afternoon, I’d just sit and inspect the quality of its power connections and check whether the different vibration options are easy to use.”

What the writer ignores is that this boredom is stemming from her own choices. She’s the one who is choosing to inspect the toys on the couch instead of using them in the bedroom. No pity from me, no siree. She also notes that the gig has made her “picky” with sex toys, implying she knows what’s best. One of the best toys in her current collection is–privilege alert!–a toy she made special for herself when she spent a day as a dildo-maker. Tough gig!

Confusingly, after all the complaining, she says working as a sex toy reviewer is “brilliant” and “really fun,” thereby nullifying every sentiment she shared prior. Not that we believe her, anyway. I mean, who wouldn’t want to get paid to use sex toys? In the meantime, I do have to admit being a sex writer for Playboy is probably just as good a gig with no lube needed—most of the time.