Brad Pitt’s character in Moneyball says, “It’s hard not to be romantic about baseball.” Well if you ask these Reddit users, while maybe not the most knowledgeable about sports, they do know a thing or two about toilet malfunctions and they see just as much romanticism there as Brad did with America’s favorite past-time. Feel free to hang these profound quotes in the office restroom next time a co-worker stops up the commode.

1. Toilets during the Romantic Age

“You never know what is enough, until you know what is more than enough.”
– William Blake

2. One fish, two fish, red fish, need a plunger

“Step with care and great tact, and remember that life’s a great balancing act.”
– Dr. Seuss

3. Hopefully not all the way

“Give me a museum and I’ll fill it.”
– Picasso

4. My name is Ozymandias, king of dumps

“Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!’
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck… ”
– From ‘Ozymandias’ by Percy Bysshe Shelley

5. And bring paper towels!

“Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!”
– Inscribed on the gates of Hell in Dante’s Inferno.

6. Especially if you have a low flow

“However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.”
– Winston Churchill

7. I don’t think this anatomically sound advice

“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start.”
– Charles Bukowski

8. Just don’t sniff the abyss

“If you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
– Nietzsche

9. This is true fear

“There is nothing with which every man is so afraid as getting to know how enormously much he is capable of doing.”
– Soren Kierkegaard

10. Paths are overrated anyway

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail…”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

11. Just make sure you’re wearing shoes

“I have spread my dreams under your feet; tread softly because you tread on my dreams.”
– William Butler Yeats