Is there a food or beverage that you’ve consumed many times in your life, despite hating it because of its overall tastes-like-shit qualities? For me that’s Red Bull. But I’ve never had the energy drink on its own—only when paired with vodka, because I like to party.
Red Bull resembles something like chemically enhanced fluoride with a side of, oh, motor oil and I’d never guzzle the stuff if it didn’t “give me wings,” or at least perk me up enough to extend the night and have a couple more beers.
College students are still drinking RBVs in spades—not necessarily to stay awake, but to get drunker, quicker. People have long thought mixing caffeine with booze makes you feel the effects of alcohol faster, but recent research suggests otherwise.
In a new study in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, researchers gave a bunch of dudes one of three drinks that were labeled differently (Red Bull vodka, vodka cocktail and fruit juice), but were secretly all the same. And whaddaya know? The guys who thought they were drinking RBVs acted the drunkest, despite drinking the same damn thing as the other groups.
Let this be a lesson that a.) marketing is effective and b.) Red Bull and vodka is overated, and you should drink one of these classier warm-weather cocktails by our resident bartender instead.
Because you’re better than that. I’m better than that. We’re all better than that.