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It Doesn’t Get Any More Interesting Than This Reddit AMA with a Schizophrenic

It Doesn’t Get Any More Interesting Than This Reddit AMA with a Schizophrenic: Drawing of "Demon" provided in AMA

Drawing of "Demon" provided in AMA

Reddit AMAs are one of the most chaotic things on the internet. They can go in a hundred different directions, with some being highly informative, wildly intriguing Q&As (Julian Assange), some blowing up as furious debate (Ann Coulter), and some just straight up going terribly wrong because someone forgot it literally stands for “Ask Me Anything” (Woody Harrelson). The celebrity AMAs typically gain the most attention, but there are a few that get somewhat swept under the rug of time. That’s a shame, because early last year, there was an AMA with a schizophrenia sufferer, and it will go go down as one of the most honest and engrossing Q&As in Reddit history.

The AMA included a few noted edits, like this one.

Edit: You can also ask Demon(visual) Blank(about 16 depressed female audio) and Little(5 year old girl who loves pink and anything girly) Questions. No guarantee they will answer but you can try.

So here now are a few excerpts from “I am a schizophrenic female with one visible hallucination and two inner voices,” with untouched questions and answers.

Q: Are they all friendly? Do they have personalities?

A: They all have separate personalities. Demon, or the one that I see, is cruel and demented. He torments me daily. Imagine SEEING a demon, talking to it and having it talking to you, forever. Not fun I assure you, but I tend to tune him out so he doesn’t bother me as much as he used to. Blank is the more prominent inner voice I hear. She is pretty much an empty shell of a person. She seems to have a back-story she has never told me. It’s like she has secrets against the person who imagined her(me). And finally we have little, she is about 5 years old and is a sweet heart. She loves playing with dolls and is VERY afraid of the dark. I think this has rubbed off on me over the years, I now hate the dark and everything that lives in it. Demon loves the dark. I think Demon is the EXACT opposite of who and what I am.

Q: When did you discover that these inner voices were not actually other real beings and that you were schizophrenic? What was that like?

A: When I went into Pre-school. I would talk to people who weren’t there and I learned no one but me had imaginary friends anymore. I was an outcast and alone. No one sat with me at lunch, I had one friend. It was hell. Demon loved every second of my loneliness and pain. In middle school I was home schooled and researched about people like me. I found out what I was and started going to a therapist (which didn’t help at all)I became depressed and haven’t fully gotten out of it. I’m happier now thanks to my boyfriend who has been helping me with my problems.

Q: If they were to go away would you miss them? And also, have you ever tried getting along with Demon or finding out why he is so mean?

A: I’ve thought about this for a while. I Think I would miss them, even Demon. They have always been with me, ALWAYS. It’s like I would be waking up one day without my ears, or my nose. It would be like a piece of me was missing.

Demon just hates me, that’s all he says.

Q: Have you asked Demon why he’s with you? I would like to know if he’s with you out of some kind of sadistic intent to get his jollies, or if he just can’t leave and is somehow tethered to you. I wouldn’t mind knowing if he considers himself a demon or not - what his self-identity is.

Also, is Little a bit sad that you grew up? I can imagine you were friends when you were both 5.

A: He says he was born with me. He came about when I was created to make sure I was miserable all my life. He says he will be with my until I kill myself, which won’t happen I assure you. His self identity is being a Demon, a sadistic and mentally insane thing.

Little was very sad when I got older and she didn’t. She wants to grow up so badly, but she knows she can’t. We were the best of friends and I still care for her deeply. She is like a little sister to me now.

Q: Can you ask Demon what he thinks of Hitler?

A: Stupid human but had the right idea, just not on a big enough scale

Q: What is your opinion of people who would call thiis “demonic possession?”

A: I think they are dumb. This isn’t a real Demon. I called him that when I was little and the name stuck. I’m not possessed, I see things other people can’t see. There is something wrong with my brain to where I can’t differentiate between reality and fantasy. I have a fantasy that merges with my reality. I don’t choose this, it just happens.

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