The last thing you want to think about when watching adult videos is “that is someone’s daughter/son/sister/mother/brother,” but that doesn’t stop it from being true. Adult film stars are people too and they have families. Some of these relatives and friends went on Reddit recently and discussed how their kin working in the adult industry impacted their families.

1. Not the brightest bulb

My aunt is currently an adult film star. So far it hasn’t really affected my family much because she doesn’t know that we know what she does for a living. I do think it has brought us closer together as a family because we all drop little hints about her secret to her that she never picks up on.

2. Doesn’t make you the cool kid in the class

I’m in high school, and a guy in my grade has a sister who does adult videos. All his friends watch it and tease him relentlessly for it. It’s really humiliating for him, actually. Basically: if you’re considering a career in the sex industry, it would be best to wait until your sibling is out of high school.

3. It’s just another job really

My cousin is Tory Lane, and it hasn’t really impacted any of my family. For a while I thought she was a model and later learned that, technically, she was. She seems happy, and that’s what’s important.

4. It can cause some…problems

It was Thanksgiving just like any other, until my mother started complaining about my brother’s extended unemployment. That Thanksgiving he arrived with a brand new car and she was screaming at him for it because he “doesn’t have stable income.” See my brother is eight years older than me, and I just thought he was a drug dealer. Not too unusual. He finally admitted that he was an actor, but mom couldn’t see any of his movies, if you catch the drift. After more yelling, my sister, who is 12 years older than me, steps in to defend him. Yeah, she did some acting too.

5. What would Morpheus think?

“I disowned my daughter.” – Laurence Fishburne

6. Not always from a great background

My younger cousin does gay adult films. My parents joke about it pretty regularly. His mother (my aunt) is dead and his father is estranged (does not accept his life) so he lived with me for a bit. He’s a great kid, but was molested as a kid and has some issues with father figures. He still holds that he is not gay (gay for pay, rather) but we would love him just the same if he were.

7. Sometimes they can be too accepting

My friend’s stepsister is an adult film star. Her mom is super supportive. She used to show my friend videos of her daughter getting porked and was apparently super proud of her and stuff. I don’t know if she’s the best example of a normal parent though. They run a bed and breakfast and one time my friend found a bag of dildos under a bed. Like a duffel bag just full of dildos.

8. Life of the party

My sister and her newly wedded husband rented an adult video to watch together on their honeymoon, which I’m told was enjoyable until they realized the woman taking cocks like a champion looked a lot like our cousin. I’m also told that my cousin’s wedding had quite the colorful crowd and free blowjobs in the closet. Being from a very conservative family though, this isn’t something we’d lie about. My mom still is pretty ashamed over it, and doesn’t like to talk about it.

9. Conflicts with their values

Sadly this really tore their family apart because they were pretty religious and didn’t approve of her work. She eventually got out of the business and is now doing rather bland work, but apparently her own parents still wont talk to her, and consider her “dead.”

10. It’s really not that different

Being the son of an ex-adult film star has a sort of a bad connotation but in reality my family is a very normal one. My father and mother have been happily married for about 16 years. My mom was very open about what she had done in the past, and told me at an appropriate age. At first it was a little odd for me to wrap my head around, and I wondered if my dad was supposed to trust her to be still faithful with him. But she made it very clear this was part of her past and that her life was now devoted to family. Her past career does not define her. So I think that all summed up having a mother that has such a past helped me be mature about my own sexuality and I am better for it.

11. Awkward family dinners

My aunt does adult films. She’s now 45. The way we found out was (seriously, I cant make this shit up) I have a cousin that has Down’s syndrome and is a chronic masturbator. His mom walks in on him going to town on himself because he forgets to lower the sound or use headphones. My aunt’s crotch and face is all on the screen. Immediately, she calls and tells all my aunts and uncles. My mom makes me do a Google search on her stage name. Because of my cousin’s masturbation problem, my aunt refuses to come to Thanksgiving. It’s not like we don’t care, because we still love her, but she admits that we will all never look at her the same.

12. Acceptance doesn’t mean embrace

I am in a serious relationship with a well-known gay adult film star. His family is nothing but loving and supportive of him. He has won several adult industry awards and his mom and dad even showed up to the ceremony with him. I’ve met them and they are great people. His parents are awesome and super proud and loving of their son. Of course they want him to get out if it, and he is transitioning to a normal life, but it’s still really heartening that they chose to embrace who he is rather than disown him.