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Rumblr, the Tinder for People Who Want to Fight, Will Thin out the Human Herd

PHOTO COURTESY OF Rumblr(http://getrumblr.com/).

PHOTO COURTESY OF Rumblr(http://getrumblr.com/).

In many ways Rumblr is an app similar to Tinder or Grindr, at least in the sense that it allows you to meet up with strangers after viewing a profile describing their physical features. However, whereas Tinder and Grindr put you in touch with people who want to screw your brains out, Rumblr puts you in touch with strangers who want to beat your brains out.

“Rumblr is an app for recreational fighters to find, meet and fight other brawl enthusiasts nearby,” the app’s website proclaims, offering “casualty-free casual fighting for free.”

Rumblr, which bills itself as “Tinder for fighting,” is basically a modern take on the plot from Fight Club. It allows sad, detached men who feel nothing to meet up for a good old-fashioned fight. It also offers “RumblrHER” for women looking to fight, and “RumblrGROUP” for those who prefer multiple partners. And even cowards like myself can enjoy the app, since it gives would-be spectators the times and locations of upcoming brawls in their area. Because meeting up with a group of violent, angry strangers is always a good idea.

“Don’t mind me, fellas! I’m just here as a spectator!”

According to the New York Daily News, the app’s creator says the product is “100% serious.”

“We have raised relatively substantial funding from private American investors and the app is fully developed,” a Rumblr representative said in an email.

The email also said that the company was working out legal issues with iOS store. But I have a better chance of kicking Manny Pacquiao’s ass than this app has of getting Apple’s approval. Call me a pessimist, but something tells me Tim Cook isn’t interested in taking on the legal liability that comes with enabling underground, unregulated street fights.

On the one hand, letting a bunch of idiots beat the shit out of each other sounds like a fine idea. After all, better they fight each other than pick a random stranger. On the other hand, if this thing ever goes live, it’s only a matter of time before someone dies.

(Source: The New York Daily News)

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