Santa Claus (aka ‘Kris Kringle’ aka 'Papa Noel’ aka 'Sinterklaas’ aka 'Father Christmas’ aka 'Saint Nicholas’) is a known felon, on the run from the law. He has committed crimes in all 196 countries and the land mass of antarctica. Almost everyone (and specifically the kind-hearted) has been affected by this man’s reign of terror.

It’s time he is brought to justice.

This article first appeared on on 12/19/14.