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Satanists Want to Remind You That Ted Cruz Isn’t Nearly as Cool as Lucifer

Satanists Want to Remind You That Ted Cruz Isn’t Nearly as Cool as Lucifer:

During a recent talk at Stanford University, former Speaker of the House John Boehner discussed ol’ Ted Cruz, a member of the same party, a colleague of sorts, one that he affectionately referred to as “Lucifer in the flesh.” It was a shocking statement for sure, but no one was more appalled than the Satanic Temple.

Now it’s easy to laugh, noting that Ted Cruz, the politician that Boehner also deemed the most miserable son of a bitch in life, is so unlikable that even those who supposedly worship the Devil are grossed out. But, in truth, due to their name and the media, Satanists get a misunderstood rep, while some of us actually wish they supplied political pundits, given their strength in rationality. So when a Patheos blogger hit up the Satanic Temple’s founder Lucien Greaves (born Doug Mesner) to discuss the Republican candidate accordingly, a thoughtful anti-Cruz missle came back.

GREAVES: Boehner’s comment is illustrative of how well past time it is to adjust our mythologies to reflect our realities. Cruz’s failures of reason, compassion, decency, and humanity are products of his Christian pandering, if not an actual Christian faith. It grows tedious when pedophile priests and loathsome politicians are conveniently dismissed as Satanic, even as they spew biblical verse and prostrate themselves before the cross, recruiting the Christian faithful. Satanists will have nothing to do with any of them.

If you recall, this is the same organization that offered Muslim protection in the U.S. following the Paris attacks and believes that religion should be divorced from supersitition, so it shouldn’t be totally surprising they aren’t about Cruz in the least. In turn, I can’t imagine Cruz is remotely in favor of Satanism in any way either.

But honestly, at this point, after being accused of a secret history as the Zodiac Killer and a viral video of his own daughter betraying him with the world’s most awkward hug refusal, you have to wonder what could make Ted Cruz generally enjoyable—like, he’d have to bring on Beyoncé, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Kimmy Schmidt to score a bare level of tolerability.

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