Science is always popping up to ruin everyone’s good time. Thankfully, the good people at Nintendo, Game Freak and The Pokémon Company International don’t let anything resembling reality even get close to the Pokémon games, movies, shows, toys, clothing, food, retail locations, or literature. If they did, we might all realize we’re engaging in virtual dogfights with a bunch of animals who are incapable of telling us how unhappy they are with their lives as competitors in adorable gladiator blood sports.

Also, reality might remind us that evolution would never actually allow your crappy Squirtle to grow into a giant water cannon-sporting Blastoise.

Dorkly gives Pokémon a bit of a scientific dressing-down in the video above, taking a few jabs at the “evolution” idea in the games. It makes for a funny video, although if developer Game Freak had a biologist consult on the series, it probably would have upended a lot of people’s childhoods.