One time, at a bar on a bachelor party trip to New Orleans, my buddy wanted to play a prank on the groom. The idea was that he would go back to this curtained off, empty back room and lay on the table with his manhood out and I would send in the groom and we would all have a laugh. Nothing smart or even that funny, but when you’re drunk and you’ve been friends since 8th grade… Anyway, everything went to plan, the bartender was a good sport and was laughing with us, but the fun had just begun. The bartender revealed that there is a security camera for that back room and played us back the footage of my buddy whipping out his junk and sprawling out on the table and it was even funnier than the original prank. This is all to say, you never know when you’re being watched. Take for instance the security guards from Reddit below who share the times they caught folks in compromised positions.
One day I get a call to come up to security where I am then shown a video of two of the night guards. They spent all night racing around the mall in wheel chairs that we lend out. After showing me a couple minutes of them just rolling around, it then switches cameras to the stairs where you see the two roll up and stop for a bit. Then one tries to roll himself down the stairs on the wheel chair. After getting down 2 or 3 steps, he then loses control of the wheelchair and continues to fall down the rest of the stairs face first with the wheel chair on top of him. You see the other guy bust out laughing. You then see a 3rd night guard come up behind him and push him down the stairs as well. It was awesome.
TIME TO GO!
One time a family was in the store with their kid. They’re standing by a display when kid drops his pants and takes a sh-t in the middle of the floor. The mom watches it happen and instantly a look of horror comes over her face, she smacks her husband on the shoulder then grabs the child in one arm, scoops the turd into her other hand and runs full speed out of the store.
Older lady taking off her prosthetic leg and using it as a back scratcher.
Spotted a lone young boy, around 10 or 11 years old, in the middle of a hardware aisle. He looked like Thurman Murman. I was behind an adjacent shelf and watched him through some holes in the peg board. He looks around, reaches into his red sweatpants, and pulls out a package of bologna. He eats the whole wad of meat in a few large bites and throws the packaging on the shelf. Then he pulls out a bottle of Sunny D, chugs it, and disposes of that evidence too.
HAPPIEST DAY OF HER LIFE
Did some base security when I was in the army. The base was in quite a scenic place, so I saw a couple taking their wedding photos outside the base. Lady in full wedding dress trips and falls right into the ditch. From white to brown. From happiness to tears.
I once saw a kid walking around the store getting close to a female mannequin and then looked around to check if the coast was clear. Once he decided no one could see him he wrapped his arm around the mannequin gave it a nice little butt rub and then humped it. After a couple of humps he went over to the next mannequin and copped a feel of those sweet plastic boobies.
JUST ENJOYING HIMSELF
This big dude, probably around 350 pounds, doing the Carlton dance, man boobs flying all around, gut hanging below his shirt. I keyed into the intercom to see if I could hear anything because it looked like he was singing. He was singing “It’s Not Unusual”. Laughed for a good 10 minutes.
I’m a dispatcher for a hospital police department (yes, some hospitals have actual police). My absolute favorite was watching one of my officers in the cruiser literally blasting that “Party in The USA” song by Miley Cyrus and dancing his ass off at 3am in the parking garage.
Kept finding vomit in the elevator. It was happening almost every day. We installed a camera to catch the wretched retcher. It turned out that the cleaning lady was doing it! She wasn’t responsible for the cleanup, that was done by a cleaning guy. They had dated for a while, but he dumped her. She was pissed about him dating another member of the cleaning staff and decided to make him suffer.
I was an investigator for Target. I had to fire a guy because he decided to smoke a bowl staring into the camera. I mean he stood on something, putt his face in front of the camera, and spent a good five minutes smoking this bowl and blowing smoke into the camera. In the back of a Target. During the afternoon.
Myself and a fellow nighttime security officer let a raccoon into the mall. It was a blast watching the nighttime cleaners chase it around and diving after it trying to catch the thing.