As a former (and maybe future) restaurant server, I have seen my fair share of bad dates. I once saw a guy on a first date spill an entire bottle of wine on a girl’s white dress. After she took off home, the guy ordered 4 double shots of Jack Daniel’s, left two hundred dollars in cash, then got up, straightened his tie, and sauntered out. Below are ten more stories about the worst dates ever witnessed by servers, as told on Reddit.
HE’LL NEED ONE SOON TOO
A woman came in with her teenage daughter and ordered a beer. Her daughter was upset, asking her to please not drink. At first I thought she didn’t want to have to be the one to drive home. But the mom was determined to drink that beer because she explained, “My soon-to-be ex-husband is standing right outside. And he doesn’t know it yet.” I felt so bad for the daughter but it was just an awkward situation.
I worked at a Mexican restaurant. After they got their meal, I heard a blood-curdling scream. I turned around, and the dude bolted, just after he threw one of those hot skillet fajita platters on his girl.
HE JUST WANTED TO LOVER HER DOWN
I used to work in a restaurant within a hotel. During our off-season, the place was a ghost town. So one evening with not a single person in there for hours, this guy and girl show up. Both were black, early-to-mid 30’s, and though they were both pretty damn good-looking people, they looked like they came from two separate realities. She was totally normal. Pretty, dressed well, with a horrified look on her face. Which was probably due to the fact that this guy looked like he just walked out of Keith Sweat's "I Want to Love You Down" video and lived every goddamn lyric of that song. Keep in mind, this was 2012, and she was on a date with someone who very obviously idolized the 90’s R&B “let’s make love all night long” mentality. It did not look good. He asked that they be sat in the back of the restaurant by themselves. Not so they could have privacy (I should note: there was no one else in the restaurant), but because they could turn one of our televisions to whatever they wanted. He ordered for her. Drinks, food, everything. And whenever they needed something, he’d signal any of the staff and be really demanding, but give one of those fake as hell “thank you so much, you’re so kind” things after everything he said. They also sat at an 8-top, right next to each other. And he kept trying to be “romantic” throughout, by doing stuff like feeding her (you don’t know sexy until you watch a grown man attempt to feed his date a piece of rib eye, only to discover it had a big ass gristle inside) and giving her the most awkward compliments I’ve ever heard. One gem in particular was, “You’re definitely the most beautiful woman in here tonight,” to which the girl said, “Yeah, I’m the only woman in here tonight.” He didn’t leave any sort of tip, and the table was honestly kinda trashed by the time they left. The overall impression I got is that she wasn’t at all thrilled by her situation, and really wasn’t too quiet about her displeasure. I’d feel bad for the guy, but how do you plan on seducing a woman through public foot rubs and a plate of Buffalo wings with cheap chardonnay?
HE SHOULD’VE HELD IT
Had a reservation for a blind date. They each had a drink at the bar before sitting down, and I took the lady’s coat down to our coat room. They seemed to be getting on alright at the table, but then when the man gets up to go to the bathroom, the lady rushes over and asks for her coat. She says hurriedly that the man was saying inappropriate and uncomfortable things and she wanted to leave without him knowing. She hid around the corner in the vestibule while I brought her her coat, and she left.
COULDN’T EAT WITH A HEAVY CONSCIENCE
A guy broke up with his girlfriend… before I brought them their drinks. Everything was fine when I took the drink order, came back and she was crying. Asked if I should come back later and the guy said no it’s fine, and ordered a steak. The girl didn’t order anything. They stayed for another 45 minutes not talking while he ate his dinner and she sat there sobbing. It was hands down the most awkward table I’ve ever waited on.
SAKE IT TO HIM
The girl was a regular, so we knew each other. The guy was some random guy she met online for a date or something. Anyways the meal is fine, they order a boatload of sushi, sake, and all that. The tab comes and it’s like 180 bucks I think, which is fine for her. SHE puts cash in the book, and starts to get her coat. I had already seen that she had left me around a 30% tip. He hangs back to “go to the restroom”. After she leaves he comes out of the restroom, opens the book, takes the money out and leaves. I walk out right behind him, and tell him I saw him. He starts hassling me and pushing me. She gets out of the car and says, “ WHAT IS GOING ON?!” I tell her. She literally FLIPS BALLS and starts beating him with her purse and hands and all that. Gives me my money plus like 50%. Leaves the douche in the parking lot.
MAYBE HE LIKES TO WATCH
It’s always awkward when you get an older couple and after a couple drinks the wife starts to call me hun and sweetie and make sexual jokes towards me, while the once talkative husband is now drinking faster and quietly.
HELL OF A WAY TO GET OUT OF ENDLESS APPS
It was a double date, 2 guys 2 girls. Probably between the ages of 18 and 24, dressed a bit trashy/goth, colored hair and lots of tats. The two girls get up and head to the bathroom, leaving their boyfriends at the table. Turns out they were shooting up, and one of them overdosed. I vividly remember our bartender pushing through people to get in the bathroom to help, it was chaos. The girl had a needle sticking out of her thigh. Dying = bad. Dying in an Applebees = somehow worse.
WONDER WHY SHE LEFT HIM…
A couple were having their dinner in a very upscale, packed Italian joint. Then another man walked in past the hostess up to their table and slapped the woman and yelled “This is where you are, out with your new boyfriend, while I’m at home with the kids?!” and walked back out. He glared in the window for a moment then left. The restaurant was quiet.
SHE’S A MONSTER
A regular patron of mine tried online dating for the first time. He was an average guy, worked in the tech field and was very interested in craft beer (this was a very large beer bar/restaurant) and I got to know him over a few months as he would come in to pick my brain about beer styles and the best way to set up his home brewery. Anyways, he came in one evening with a clean shave and a tie, not his normal look. He told me he had a date that night and she was also into beer and he was stoked to show her his favorite bar. She came in about ten minutes later and she was gorgeous. Not saying she was out of his league but…good for him, is what I thought. She was apprehensive at first but nothing out of the ordinary for a first date. After their first flight of beers, she loosened up. A little too much. She went from being cute and reserved to loud-obnoxious-sorority-sister in about two pints. She started demanding my attention, yelling for me while I was talking to other customers, and asking me to explain every detail of whatever beer she was drinking. She started blatantly flirting with me, even touching my arm and telling me how cute I am. At this point I traded bar sections with another bartender to avoid such an awkward interaction. As the night progressed, she became louder (I can still hear her god-awful laugh) and hit the dance floor to dance with many guys, not one of them being the guy she came there to meet. Eventually, my regular, who had been sitting at the bar drinking alone while she danced and flirted with other men, asked me if I had seen his date recently. A coworker later told me she saw her leave with a couple of other guys. He paid his tab, which she had racked up $60 or more on, and I didn’t see him after that night… I felt bad. She was a jerk.