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Seven Super-Sultry Fantasy Movie Sex Scenes

Seven Super-Sultry Fantasy Movie Sex Scenes:

Game Of Thrones has done a masterful job of both polarizing viewers — “Ohmygod, I can’t believe they killed him!” — and keeping them loyal. Series devotees are beguiled by the political intrigue, bloody mayhem, and yes, the naughty sex scenes that hit their screens every week. While pay cable shows like Rome, Spartacus, and GoT have upped the Risqué Fantasy Game over the last decade, Hollywood had shied away from them since the decadent ‘80s, when barbarian and sword ‘n’ sorcery movies filled video store shelves.

To celebrate this return to medieval debauchery, here is a list of lusty fantasy movie scenes from our cinematic past to stir your loins. We’re not saying they’re better than the beloved Game Of Thrones — well, Conan is pretty awesome — but they’re cheeky fun nonetheless.

conan the barbarian orgy

CONAN THE BARBARIAN
The original 1982 version of Conan The Barbarian is still the best sword and sorcery movie. Period. To wit: Upon infiltrating the genocidal Thulsa Doom’s mountain palace, Conan (Arnold Schwarzenneger), Valeria (Sandahl Bergman), and Subotai (Gerry Lopez) sneak into the orgy chamber. (There is an “orgy chamber.”) Before they set about slashing and pillaging through the marble room, they watch men and women intertwine in a sensual ballet of flesh. “So this is Paradise,” muses Subotai. Perhaps, except for the cannibal stew.


Tanya Roberts [Beastmaster]

THE BEASTMASTER
Along his quest to seek retribution against the evil high priest Maax and the Jun Hordes that destroyed his village, Dar (Marc Singer) happens upon two beauties, including his future paramour Kiri (Tanya Roberts), who bathes topless in a pool by a waterfall. Before sending his ferrets to mischievously swipe some of her clothing, Dar catches more than a few eyefuls of the former Charlie’s Angel. The DVD editions of the movie contain cut footage from this sequence as an Easter egg.


Excalibur movie rape scene

EXCALIBUR
Uther Pendragon (Gabriel Byrne) lusts after Igrayne (Katrine Boorman), the wife of the Duke of Cornwall. With the aid of Merlin’s Charm of Making, Uther seduces her in the form of her husband, who actually lays dying in battle when his rival goes to the Duke’s castle. Uther takes Igrayne quickly and briskly in her bed. But talk about rough sex: The guy doesn’t even take off his armor. Her young daughter Morgana (who will grow up to be Helen Mirren, who does her own share of naughty business), however, senses something amiss. Anyway, that’s how little King Arthur came into being.


the-sword-and-the-sorcerer-alana

THE SWORD AND THE SORCEROR
When banished Prince Talon (Lee Horsley) helps rescue imprisoned Prince Mikah (Simon MacCorkindle) from the castle of the tyrannical King Cromwell (Richard Lynch), he is vigorously pursued by the evil ruler’s minions. Crashing right into a pleasure chamber filled with gorgeous, scantily clad maidens, Talon lands atop one. He steals some glances and a hot kiss from the busty beauty before dashing through the chamber and into the room where the lovely Princess Alana (Kathleen Beller) lies receiving a nude oil massage. Distracted by that, he gets knocked out the window.


still-of-sybil-danning-in-howling-ii--stirba-werewolf-bitch-(1985)-large-picture

HOWLING II: YOUR SISTER IS A WEREWOLF!
Yes, this lycanthrope tale takes place in 1980s Czechoslovakia, but with all the ancient buildings and superstitions it feels old world. This is a pretty weak horror flick, but it does have the notable attraction of the buxom Sybil Danning playing Stirba, the hot sorceress leader of the werewolves who mainly presides over leather-clad orgies. As a furry breeding threesome takes place, Stirba watches her two lovers and rips off her top in the heat of passion, revealing her heaving bosom. The producers admired that shot so much they repeated it 17 times during the end credits montage. (That must have been an awkward premiere.)


COUNTESS DRACULA

COUNTESS DRACULA
In 17th Century Eastern Europe, aging Countess Elisabeth Nádasdy (the stunning Ingrid Pitt) discovers that virgin blood can make her look younger (a la Countess Bathory). Enamored with the newly arrived Lieutenant Imre Toth (Sandor Elès), Elisabeth starts quietly preying on local girls to continually rejuvenate herself and pass herself off as her imprisoned daughter Ilona. But an older suitor later reveals her game, exposing her younger lover to the sight of the beautiful Countess bathing in blood. That sounds creepy, but Ingrid Pitt looked fabulous no matter what. In this case, there was more boobs than blood, and our eyes popped.


THE WARRIOR AND THE SORCERESS
This low-rent take on Akira Kurosawa’s Yojimbo set on a medieval desert planet had little going it for outside of star David Carradine, which is probably why they brought in sexy Maria Socas to play a shapely sorceress who only felt comfortable in a g-string and the occasional cape. While his warrior-for-hire played two warring tribes against each other for profit, she looked hot, with a little sorcery tossed in for good measure. To that extent, she is the best special effect in the movie. The only thing that possibly topped her was the equally naked, four-breasted exotic dancer (Cecilia Narova) making the moves on Carradine’s warrior. Awkward.


Regular Playboy contributor Bryan Reesman is actually looking forward to the next Conan installment, King Conan. He hopes Crom grants us a worthy sequel.

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